Heartbeats
by Caraluna
Summary: Modern Captain Swan AU. Emma Swan had protected her heart behind sky high walls all her life, until one day it stopped beating. And then a miracle happened… Some one died so she could live.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note:** _So this is my first story for the OUAT fandom. More precisely, Captain Swan. I'm posting this at AO3 and then thought what the heck, this was the place that started my fanfiction addiction and it's housing my other stories so… Here it is. It's been 12 years since I posted my first story here in ... God I feel old! Lol. This is AU and the character's might seem OOC, I'm out of practice so feel free to tell me what you think. This plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone, so I decided to write it... Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 **Heart Beats**

 **Prologue**

" _Every heart that has beat strong and cheerfully  
_ _has left a hopeful impulse behind it in the world…"_

 **\- Robert Louis Stevenson**

The only thing Killian Jones could remember about the accident was the color red.

Her crimson lips as he kissed her slowly. The beautiful smile on her face as he opened the passenger door of the car.

Her bright red stiletto shoes as she pulled them off and threw them to the back seat, because they were hurting her feet.

The red traffic light that was taking forever to turn green.

Her long scarlet nails scratching on his thigh softly, his own lips turning up in a seductive smirk as he turned his head slightly to look at her just in time to see the red SUV running its red light and crashing into them.

The first thing Killian Jones saw when he opened his eyes again was red…

Blood was everywhere.

He also recalled a loud buzzing in his ears, his head pounding… He couldn't move, he couldn't speak and he could hardly breath.

It seemed like an eternity later that he could make through the glass the red lights and the shape of the fire trucks and police cars as they arrived.

He remembered a firefighter breaking his door and speaking directly at him. His sight was blurry, and it was hard to make out the words…

But there was just one thing going through Killian's mind… A simple word that encompassed his whole world, "Milah!"

She hated the color white.

Even though it was supposed to be a symbol of purity and light, goodness… It was also the color of the walls, of the stiff bed sheet and the itchy gown she was wearing.

The sterile smell of the hospital burned her nostrils and there was no amount of flowers that could disguise it.

And the flowers were everywhere! The bouquets all various sizes and colors. Carnations, daisies, hydrangeas, daffodils, blue iris, chrysanthemums… every one of the flowers signifying the love and support of her loved ones.

She had been waiting for this moment for months, her health becoming more fragile, her life more sedentary and her fears growing with every passing day.

Emma Swan was not a coward by any means. But after all that she had to survive in her life, this had turned out to be her breaking point.

Only hours after being born, she had been abandoned on the side of the road.

Blond hair, green expressive eyes and rosy cheeks were irresistible to the married couples looking to adopt a baby.

The Swans fell in love with her at first sight, or that's what the social workers used to tell her. They were young and filled with dreams of having a big family. But nature had not helped them, so they had decided to adopt her. She spent two years in their home being loved and happy. But that happiness didn't last long.

The beautiful baby the Swans had brought home was damaged.

Emma had being diagnosed with a heart condition. Long stays in the hospital, sleepless nights and the uncertainty took a toll on the couple. But their troubles had been rewarded with a miracle. Without warning and out of the blue, her stepmother became with child.

Her pregnancy was high risk and the worry and troubles that came with taking care of a sick baby was too much. After much consideration they decided that they couldn't turn their backs on a miracle, so they sent Emma back to the orphanage.

Soon she got better from her condition. But that didn't mean that her heart got by unscathed.

Emma had suffered her fair share of heartbreaks. She never got adopted again. Being sent back and her medical history guaranteed her growing up in the System. A chain of bad foster homes later sent her on a tailspin and she ended up running away and living in the streets. Emma had grown up tough and independent so she did everything she could to survive… stealing food, sleeping inside parked cars and breaking into people's homes during especially cold winters.

Living in the streets made her resourceful, perceptive, tenacious, smart and untrusting.

Emma had fallen in love once, but was used and trampled by his lies… Sent to prison for a robbery she didn't commit.

Left alone and pregnant, something she didn't learn until later... She was sentenced to eleven months in prison and ended up giving birth to a healthy baby boy handcuffed to a bed.

At first she was certain she would give him away in adoption, offering him his best chance away from her screwed up life. But the moment she heard his cries and saw his little flailing arms she felt her heart swell with pride and love, a strong ache settled inside her chest, her heartbeats going a mile a minute, her breath coming in short pangs. A burst of true love like she had never felt before…

Later, Emma will learn that the ache in her chest hadn't been just a burst of love, but a deadly heart failure.

Right after the birth of her son, the straining heart muscle was damaged and caused her heart to become enlarged and it couldn't pump blood properly throughout the rest of her body.

Five months after giving birth, finally out of jail and ready to work hard to give her son, Henry, a better life she was given the news…

The diagnosis: Peripartum Cardiomyopathy.

She had been adjusting to being a mother and being a law-abiding citizen, but her new heart condition was a hinder in her plans. Just when she thought that she had made a mistake and that she was kidding herself thinking that she could do it alone… A Fairy Godmother or as Emma jokingly called her a _Fairy Wolfgirl_ came flying down the street and straight back into her life.

Emma had met Ruby Lucas in prison. The brunette had served time for solicitation. They only spent 4 months in the facility together, but they had bonded over heartbreak and being abandoned by their parents. Ruby had said goodbye promising to keep in touch but that hadn't happen. Until faith had made them walk into each other.

After two years, Ruby had straighten her path and decided to go back home to her, very strict grandmother. She had gone to school and was taking part of the responsibilities in the family business… That day she met her son Henry and offered Emma a job in her Granny's diner. Completely desperate, Emma had accepted the offer. She left the city behind and followed her friend to the small town called Storybrooke.

During the next 9 years, her life had changed drastically. She took night classes and worked as a waitress. Soon she became a Social Worker and got a job helping orphan kids find a family, a home and a happy ending.

Besides her monthly visits to the cardiologist and the daily pills for her heart condition, her life turned out to be better than she ever imagined.

But one day, her luck ran out. She had been giving a conference at Storybrooke High School on teen pregnancy and adoption, when all of the sudden her world went black.

When her eyes opened again it was to white walls and white bed sheets. Her cardiologist, Dr. Robin Locksley, gave her the news… Her heart condition had worsened and her only hope of survival was a heart transplant.

The waiting list was long, but she was a good candidate. Still she had been scared. Not of dying, but of leaving her son Henry alone...

Emma Swan had been waiting for months for a heart, her health deteriorating with each passing day. Soon she had to be hospitalized, the excessive fatigue, chest pains, shortness of breath and palpitations unbearable.

And just when she was about to give up, the call came.

A heart had become available.

Someone died, so she could live.


	2. Chapter 01

**Author's Note:** _Thank you for the warm welcome, the replies and favorites! I have to warn you that I do not have a Beta and this story might have grammar mistakes and typos, sorry for that. Also any information you'll find here about heart diseases and heart transplants come from google research. You'll get quick updates this week because I'm already to chapter 3 on the other site I'm posting and I want to be on equal grounds, after that I'll post one chapter weekly. Enjoy!_

* * *

 **Chapter| 01**

" _If you gave someone your heart and they died,_ _did they take it with them?  
Did you spend the rest of forever __with a hole inside you that couldn't be filled?"_

 **\- Jodi Picoult**

 **…** _**Three years later…**_

Milah's heart was beating inside somebody else.

Killian had known she was an organ donor, because so was he. But the reality behind that statement didn't really sink in at the moment they had checked the small box and signed the papers.

They were young, full of hope, dreams and plans… The actual notion of death was not something they had ever stopped to ponder.

Milah was the definition of life. She was bright and happy. She was eager to learn and see everything around her. That was one of the reasons why he had fallen in love with her… That and her breathtaking beauty, long black hair and beautiful green eyes. Her smile could take him to his knees and when she touched him, his insides became lava that threatened to explode.

He had loved her at first sight. And that love was still beating inside his heart, inside every cell of his body.

It had been three years… but he could still remember her smiling up at him lovingly and her fingernails scratching his tight seductively, the promise of a night filled with passion until everything went black.

Killian dropped the envelope he was holding and pushed the chair away from his desk with a growl. He crossed the small office, grabbed his jacket and started walking. He needed to get out of there, he needed air… he needed her.

"Oh, hey Killian. I was just going to your office. Will wanted me to ask…"

The petite brunette's voice trailed off as he passed by her and failed to acknowledge her presence. She grabbed her phone from the pocket of her skirt and dialed a number, still looking worriedly down the hall her coworker and friend had disappeared from.

"Hey, it's Belle… I think Killian got that letter he's been waiting on."

* * *

"Clean bill of health, young lady."

Emma heard the teasing of his voice behind the screen, where she was buttoning up her blouse. She pulled her hair out of the collar with a smile and walked towards the chairs sitting down in front of his desk.

She had meet Dr. Robin Locksley a few weeks after moving to the small town. Her cardiologist in the city had recommended him. And the moment she had walked into his office at Storybrooke General Hospital, they had clicked.

"Robin, I'm 32 years old, hardly a young lady and you're only 8 years older than me."

His only answer was a wink and a dimpled smile as he finished signing her prescription and gave her the note. Putting his pen on the front pocket of his white coat, he sat back on his chair, a clear signal that the doctor's appointment was over.

"How did Henry do in his science project?" He asked in his kind lilting voice.

Emma took the prescription and folded it in half, a huge grin spreading on her face at the mention of her son. "He did great. Thanks to you, his replica of the human body was a huge success."

"It was nothing," Robin waved a hand at her and stood from his chair, "we had a blast building it."

"He is looking forward to the camping trip. Are you sure you want to take him?" Emma asked following him and grabbing her red leather jacket.

"Of course I do. I love spending time with him, and Roland adores him."

Emma walked to the door as Robin held it open for her. "Henry loves spending time with you guys too," she said a slight frown appearing on her face.

"Hey, you don't have to look so gloom about it."

"It's not that," she said shaking her head. "I was just thinking about how much he needs a father right now." Her eyes were lost in thought for a minute. "You know I think he likes a girl from his class."

"Hum," the doctor nodded with a teasing smile. "Little Paige Grace," he said with a knowing smirk.

Emma's eyes grew big with surprise. "You know about it?"

Robin chuckled, "It's not that big of a surprise. He hasn't been able to speak two sentences without uttering her name in the last three months."

The light in her eyes dimmed in a sad sigh. "He's growing up so fast. Soon he'll have questions that will make me want to run for the hills."

"It's a good thing he has not one, but two surrogate uncles looking out for him."

Emma smiled gratefully, "I don't know how I could've managed without you and David in my life."

"You are a strong woman. But maybe you should get out there again. Meet someone."

Emma rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Really? Now Regina, Mary Margaret and Ruby have you pushing for this too?"

Robin let out a low chuckle. "I'm not getting anywhere near my wife and her friends campaign to _Marry off a Swan_. But I do believe that it's time that you met a nice bloke."

She saw the sincerity in his eyes when he spoke again. "You've been doing great on your own for 12 years. Henry it's a remarkable young lad and soon he will finish school, go away to college, fall in love and make a family of his own. And you Emma, shouldn't condemn yourself to a live of loneliness just because you're afraid."

"I am not afraid." She deadpan avoiding his eyes, her voice was low and unconvincing.

She let out a sigh and looked up at her doctor, her friend, her savior. "You know better than anyone that I need to take care of my heart."

"Well as I said earlier, you have a clean bill of health. Keep exercising, taking your meds and eating a healthy diet… there's nothing to fear."

She sighed again and walked out of his door. He heard her muttered as she left, "You are wrong, there's plenty to fear."

* * *

Arranging the flowers one last time Killian stood, his eyes lingering over the headstone. He sighed and closed his eyes as he turned around and started walking away from her resting place.

God he missed her. But he couldn't keep dwelling on it. He couldn't keep thinking about her soft skin and the way she used to bite her lower lip when he was on top of her, loving her…

He knew she was gone, and he had to be strong. He had to let her go. He knew that he no longer could succumb to the need to touch her face, to run his fingers through her hair or kiss her perfectly plumed lips. If only he could see her eyes just one more time… But that was impossible.

She was gone. And he was here, and he had to figure out a way to keep on living without her… He had to move on or he was going to drive himself insane.

When the memories became too much for his brain, Killian enjoyed one or ten glasses of spiced rum. He would walk into The Pirate's Den, his favorite watering hole in the city and he would drink until the ghosts of the life he was supposed to be living right now with Milah dissipated and he blocked out from his mind her voice, her laugh, her eyes…

That's where Will Scarlet found him hours later.

His best friend slid into the seat in front of him. "Been looking for you all afternoon. Where the hell did you get yourself to, mate?"

Killian took another sip of his rum, before answering. "Not far enough it seems."

Scarlet rolled his eyes and spoke again, "Belle was scared something had happened."

"Well I'm safe and sound as you can see, so run off and tell your lovely fiancé she doesn't have to worry."

"She's the most unnervingly sweet and caring person in the world. She has the biggest heart of them all. And for some bloody reason that escape me bloody mind, she cares about you."

Killian was still looking down at the golden liquid in his glass. He murmured, "Her heart it's still beating."

"Aye. You know Belle doesn't hold on to grudges. She even spoke to your boss–"

Moving his head from side to side, Killian looked up. "Not Belle's… Milah's."

"Now you've gone bloody mad."

"I got the letter today." He breathed slowly and continued. "Milah was an organ donor. They took her heart that night and gave it to someone else."

"I don't get it..." Will's voice trailed off in confusion.

"I– I wasn't sure… I wasn't sure I was going to be able to get in touch with who ever had it. This afternoon I got the letter. They have the information of the recipient. I can contact them if I want to."

"What are you going to do?"

"I can't do it. I can't see the person that's alive now thanks to the death of my wife."

* * *

Emma loved to watch the sunrise as she jogged slowly and carefully. _(As recommended by her doctor.)_

She enjoyed her trail down the beach every morning. Soft golden sand under her shoes, light dusting the horizon in soft purples, pinks and yellows as the sun takes its place high up in the sky.

Slowing down, she begins to walk towards the docks. She closes her eyes taking huge gulps of fresh air, bending over and resting her hands over her knees. Taking a moment to say thanks for the healthy beating of her heart.

A seagull cries as it flies overhead and dives into the water for a morning snack. Emma's smile is wide and genuine as she starts walking towards the street. Every morning was a gift and she was very grateful for the chance to be alive.

As soon as she opens the door to her apartment, the smell of burnt toasts hits her. Her smile turns into a frown as she sees her 12-year-old son trying to scrape the black of some pieces of bread. "Henry?" She says walking closer.

"Mom, you're back." His face scrunches up in defeat. "I wanted to make you breakfast. But everything went wrong."

She tries to hide her smile, but it's impossible to not feel the warm love bubble inside her whenever her boy does something sweet for her.

"The toaster has been acting up. I might have to give up on her and buy a new one." She walks around the kitchen island and puts her hand on his shoulder.

Henry stops the scraping and looks up at her. "I wanted to celebrate that it's been three years since you got your new heart and that you're healthy."

A huge knot forms in her throat. Remembering the feeling of desperation and fear she felt when they told her that her heart was failing. It was hard to even imagine she might not have been here today and he would be alone in the world.

Swallowing over the lump in her throat willing her tears away she managed a soft, "I love you baby."

Emma places a kiss on top of his head, one arm going around his back in a hug.

"Love you too mom, but you're all gross and sweaty." He says as he pushes her away breaking the emotional moment.

With a big smile the young mother gets an idea. "You know what? We still have time before you have to be in school. Go change. We'll celebrate at Granny's with chocolate chip pancakes and grilled cheese sandwiches."

Henry smiled wide and dropped the burnt toast on the trash. He started walking towards his room, but before she could do the same he turned around a knowing smile on his face. "Nice try mom."

Putting on her best innocent face she answers. "Why's that baby?"

Arching his brow and setting his chin, her same defiant expression in his eyes he put his arms over his chest. "You know you can't eat grilled cheese sandwiches."

"Why not? We are celebrating… Me!"

"Exactly. We're celebrating, You. That you are alive! I'm not letting you fill your blood with cholesterol. You'll have oatmeal."

"Oatmeal? Really?" She said pouting and mimicking his stand, crossing her arms over her chest.

His eyes softening, he dropped his arms. "If you act your age, I might even let you have a cup of cocoa."

She smiled then. "But it has to have whipped cream and–"

They finish the sentence together. "–cinnamon."

Later that night, Emma and her girlfriends were in the middle of their weekly dinner. The four of them took turns hosting it. Today they are sitting around Mary Margaret's dinning table enjoying a perfect home cooked meal.

"I'd definitely marry Jack, fuck Pacey and kill Dawson," said Ruby as she took a drink from her wine glass.

"You do know Jack was gay right?" Emma added.

"Yeah, but he was hot as fuck. He would be my trophy husband and I would definitely get a threesome out of the deal."

Regina, the oldest of the bunch and the more serious one, choked on her bite of food and started coughing at Ruby's explanation. Mary Margaret blushed profusely, while Emma and Ruby laughed out loud at both reactions.

"I think that's enough of that silly, teenage slumber party game." Regina, said cleaning her mouth with a napkin.

"Oh come on Reggie." Ruby whined.

"So Emma, I heard Robin gave you a clean bill of health today." Mary Margaret changed the subject, always the peacemaker of the group.

Emma nodded as she drank the last of her wine. Not ready yet for the inquisition that was about to begin in… 3…2…1

"That's great Ems. That means you can stop using the heart thing as an excuse and find yourself a man. If not to marry, at least to fuck!"

"Oh my God, Ruby." Regina said rolling her eyes at Ruby's crude comments.

Ruby looked at her friends outraged. "What? I just said what we all have been thinking and no one has had the balls to say out loud."

Emma put a hand down on the table and looked up. "Why would you be thinking about my sex life?"

"We haven't… We weren't…" Mary Margaret blushed.

"Let's be real. You are in desperate need of a man in your life Swan." Regina said frankly.

Emma rolled her eyes and looked up before taking her napkin and putting it on the table. "God, not this again."

Mary Margaret put her hand on top of Emma's caringly. "We are just worried for you. You tend to push people away–"

"Guess I haven't pushed far enough," Emma murmured.

"Hey, that's not a nice thing to say." The pixie brunette said sadly.

The blond sat back in the chair and crossed her arms over her chest. "Neither is meddling in someone else's sex life."

"This is not about sex, Swan. If it were about that, we would just send you off with Ruby to the next town over. She would get you drunk and laid faster than you can throw back a tequila shot."

"Hell yes, I would."

"This is about finding someone who can be at your side, someone who can take Henry to baseball games, and who can man the grill on hot summer afternoons… someone who can take you out dancing and look at you like you are a fairytale princess."

A lone tear escaped Emma's eyes and she dried it quickly. "The thing is M&M, that fairytale princesses are not real."

"What my sister tried to say in her own, sweetly saccharine way… It's that you are a good mother, a great friend, an amazing resilient woman and you deserve to find a good man that loves you. Not that a man is anyone's happy ending, but it's a great feeling to know that there's somebody else out there who wants to protect your heart."

Emma's eyes soften, and she blinked, surprised at Regina's words.

"To tell you the truth, I've been thinking a lot about it…"

The other three women spoke taken back by her words. "You have?"

"Yes I have. I think it's time I stopped hiding and put my heart out there."


	3. Chapter 02

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** _Here's what you've been waiting for, or what I hope you've been waiting for... Emma and Killian meet for the first time! Enjoy and let me know what you think ;)_

* * *

 **Chapter| 02**

 _"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;_  
 _what is essential is invisible to the eye."_

 **\- Antoine de Saint-Exupery**

"I can't believe I said yes," Emma complained from behind the closet door.

Ruby and Mary Margaret looked at each other and smiled quietly. "It took you long enough Emma," Ruby said as she grabbed Emma's jewelry box and started looking through it. The only response was a muffled, "I hate you."

Mary Margaret looked up to Ruby again with an arched brow as she moved to sit on Emma's bed. "I think it's romantic. Don't you?"

Ruby turned around abandoning the jewelry box and reclining on the drawers, crossing her arms over her chest. "No offense M&M, but I just think this is a chance for my girl to finally get some loving, if you know what I mean," she finished with a saucy wink.

"Is that all you ever think about, Ruby?"

"A little nookie never hurt anyone," the tall dark hair beauty said with a shrug. "I read somewhere that a healthy sex life can help lower stress levels and lenghtens life."

"What about love? That's important too. I mean, contrary to what you may think, David and I have a very satisfactory sex life–"

"Please spare me the details!" This time Emma's voice was more than clear behind the closet door.

A soft pink blush slowly covered her best friends cheeks and ears. "I wasn't going to give any details. But I do want to make a point, our sex life it's great because we do it with love."

Ruby's eyebrow rose in a challenge and her red lips turned up in a smirk, "Well let me tell you something, last night Billy and I had very satisfactory sex, twice… And there's definitely no love there."

Mary Margaret's eyes went big with surprise. "You and Billy? Again? I thought you guys broke up years ago."

"We did. I just call him from time to time, you know when I need a very satisfactory rump in the hay."

The pixie brunette looked up at one of her best friends with a sad smile. "I wish you stopped selling yourself short Rubs. You are an intelligent, strong, beautiful woman and there has to be a good man out there that's dying to find a girl like you. But if you keep entangling yourself in this self destructive relationships, he's never going to have a chance to show you exactly what your are missing."

Ruby's hazel eyes were shining with unshed tears. But she just laughed and shrugged her best friend off. "I've accepted a long time ago that not all of us can have a happily ending M&M. But that doesn't mean I have to give up on great sex too."

At that moment the closet door opened and Emma walked out. She was looking down, running her hands over her black skirt. "What do you guys think?"

"You look beautiful Emma," was Mary Margaret's answer as she stood from her place and walked closer inspecting the blonde's wardrobe.

Emma was wearing a black leather mini dress with a round collar, black tights and high heel shoes. Ruby squealed, "You look hot!"

Emma sighed and looked at herself in the mirror, running her fingers at the collar of the dress. After the surgery she had stopped showing her cleavage and wearing low cut shirts and dresses to cover the scar below. She hadn't been on a date or had sex since before the heart transplant. Was she ready for this?

She spoke looking up at her friends, the uncertainty shining in her eyes. "I don't know if this is such a good idea."

"Why wouldn't it be?" Ruby questioned.

"It's been so long... I don't even know what you're suppose to do in a first date–"

"Have a good time! Ask questions, try to see what you have in common and enjoy the food. There's no pressure," answered Mary Margaret.

"You'll be at Granny's Emma, if he's hot you can take him upstairs. I always leave the door to room #8 unlocked for such occasions," her friends laughed at Ruby's confession. "But if you feel uncomfortable or he's plain gross, just sneak out through the B&B."

"You are right." She expelled a sigh, dropped her hands and stood taller. "It's time for me to get out there, meet new people, make friends." Emma's voice was more convinced.

"Have hot monkey sex!"

"Ruby!" Mary Margaret tossed a pillow at her and the younger brunette laughed.

Emma looked at her friends, fear clear in her big green eyes. "I'm not ready to be naked in front of a man."

She was looking down and running her hand where her dress covered the beginning of her scar. Mary Margaret and Ruby shared a glance. Ruby grabbed Emma's hands in hers and Mary Margaret put her arms around Emma's waist. "Oh honey, don't even think about that. Tonight it's just to get to know each other. You'll know when you are ready and with whom."

Ruby pulled her to the bed. "Come here, let's do something with your hair and makeup. This guy Regina set you up with won't know what hit him."

* * *

It had been two week since Killian had learned that Milah's heart was beating inside another person… somewhere. During the first few days he had pondered the idea of learning the identity of the recipient of the heart and going after them. But he had promised both Belle and Will that he wasn't going to pack up and leave without saying goodbye. He had thought long and hard about his options and had decided to forget about the fact that the heart of his beloved was still beating and focus on getting back his life.

During the day, Killian jumped head first into his work and at night he sometimes drowned himself inside a bottle of rum when the need to quiet Milah's voice and erase the memory of her smile and her evergreen eyes became essential.

Killian's melancholic mood lessened with each passing day. A few days later he had been assigned a new job, and it worked wonders to keep his mind busy. A small town was in need of a construction firm to research the viability and development of a seaside kids playground.

That's why he found himself walking down the streets of the sleepy little town called Storybrooke.

Taking advantage of the three-hour trip and his need to get out of the city, he had sailed his boat down the coast looking to clear his mind and enjoy the sea and the stars.

He made his way inside the cozy little B&B with his duffle bag over his shoulder. Taking in the flower wallpaper and old cottage feel of the place he wasn't surprised to see the white hair old lady standing behind the reception. She had her eyeglasses perched high on her nose while she was reading an old and battered copy of the Grimm's Fairy Tales.

Walking closer, he spoke trying not to scare her. "Good evening."

The grandmother looked up with a frown on her face, probably expecting someone else and ready to pounce on whoever dared to interrupt her reading. One look at him over her reading glasses had her stumbling over her feet. "Hello. What can I do for you young man?"

Summoning his trademark half smile he answered. "I was wondering if you have a room available."

"As a matter of fact I do. Would you like a forest view or a square view?"

Killian thought about it for a minute. "Square view it's alright."

"What's the name?" She asked opening a big brown book.

"Killian Jones."

She scribbled his name in a yellow page. "How long will you be staying?"

"Honestly I don't know. It could be a week or a month. Will that be a problem?"

"Normally there's an upgrade fee for the Square. But seeing as you're an open ended stay, I'll wave it."

"That's not necessary, my Lady."

"Nonsense." He paid her in cash and she counted the money and placed it in and old cash register. "The name is Beverly Lucas, but you can call me Granny. Everybody else does," she said giving him a key with a long keychain. Killian grabbed the key and nodded. "We have a Diner that opens 'til late and you can access it through the back hallway. You can use the common room for reading or relaxing by the fire and you'll get clean towels and housekeeping at 10am every two days."

He gave her a charming smile and a nod. "Thank you very much for your hospitality." He finished grabbing her hand and placing a gentle kiss on it. Granny tried very hard to conceal her blush, but it was impossible to hide.

Killian turned and walked up the stairs. He played with the key between his fingers and holding it up he noticed that the keychain was a big metal anchor. At the sight a strange shiver ran down his spine, but he shrugged it off as he made his way to his room.

* * *

Ryan Foster was a good-looking man. He was tall and well built, had nice brown eyes and light hair. He was a gentleman, considerate and funny. The date had been going great. Conversation had flowed nicely and the food was comforting as always. All in all it was a nice first date. There was just one big problem… there were no sparks.

Emma smiled at all the right moments. She answered questions about her work and about her son. In turn she inquired about his work and his hobbies. All the time praying that time would go by quickly. Once they finished with their dessert, a slice of Granny's famous apple pie, Emma was about to bid farewell but Ryan ordered a coffee. He grimaced at her order of hot chocolate saying something about having such a sweet tooth. Then he launched into another tale of the very interesting world of dentistry. Soon she was trying hard to hide her yawns.

"Can I be totally honest with you?" Ryan asked putting down his coffee cup and giving Emma a small smile.

Emma was about to jump into her hot chocolate with cinnamon, but she stopped and looked up at the question. "Of course."

"I was very scared about today. It's been a long time since I've been on a date, but when I saw you walking in, I felt relieved."

"Relieved?" She asked curiously.

"You never know what you are going to find in a blind date. Even though Regina raved about you, friends tend to oversell each other. But you Emma Swan, are every bit as amazing as she made you sound."

Emma's eyebrow raised as she said, "Thank you… I think."

"I mean it in the best possible way. I know we've only known each other for a couple of hours, but you can't deny there's an obvious connection here. I can already see a nice future with–"

Emma had taken a sip of her chocolate and at his words she swallowed quickly and coughed a bit because of the hot liquid.

"Are you okay?" Ryan asked worriedly.

"I… I… am." Emma cleaned the side of her mouth with the white cloth napkin and dropped it on the table. "Um– You know what, I have to go to the lady's room." She stood up and grabbed her purse. "Dinner was amazing. But it's getting late and… You don't have to wait for me… I'll just… go."

Ryan stood and watched her walk to the back of the diner. Emma had to remind herself not to run as she made her way towards the jukebox. She turned around the corner and opened the door locking herself inside the restroom.

Emma closed her eyes as she reclined her back against the door and let out a sigh of relief. She took her time to calm down and push away her instincts to run. Making her way to the sink, she opened the faucet and let the water run. Wetting her hands, she ran her fingers through her hair and face, being especially careful with her makeup. She looked up at her reflection in the mirror. The woman in the reflection was pretty, she felt pretty… but she also felt more closed up and alone than ever. What was wrong with her? Ryan the dentist was a nice man, why was she running at the mere thought of getting to know him better?

She had to face the truth. Her walls were up and even though admitting she felt lonely was a good first step, she wasn't ready to open up to a man just yet. And she was not going to settle on the first guy she went on a date with after almost six years of complete abstinence. Who was she kidding? She did want the sparks and butterflies, the happy ending and a man that for once would see past her fears and instead of breaking her heart, would protect it. _(Not that she was ever going to confess any of that to her friends.)_

Half an hour later, breathing deeply and asking the higher powers that her date was gone, she walked out of the restroom. Walking slowly and carefully hiding behind the green colored wall she looked around the corner towards the diner. Ryan the dentist was still there. He was walking from side to side and he didn't look happy. Emma quickly moved back against the wall hoping that he hadn't caught a glimpse of her. There was no other way out, she was going to have to use Ruby's escape plan and run out the B&B.

Emma looked back out at the diner's door longingly and her eyes met Ryan's. He definitely saw her now and was walking towards her. Panicked, she turned around and quickly made her way to Granny's B&B.

On her haste, she didn't realize that someone was walking in the other direction and soon she was stumbling over.

* * *

Granny's B&B was not a five star hotel by any means. But the quaint décor, flower wallpapers, warm quilts and lace window coverings did bring a strange sense of home to his new lodgings. Killian had been looking forward to a change of pace, well it seemed like Storybrooke was definitely a change of pace from his lifestyle in the city.

After putting away his belongings, he walked down to the common room where he found a small bookshelf filled with old batter books much like the one Granny Lucas had been reading. Quickly running his fingers down the titles he found a copy of J.M Barrie's _Peter Pan,_ one of his favorites when he was growing up. A little reading might help the night hours pass faster and maybe even give him a few hours of much needed sleep.

He was about to pick it up, when a grumble from his stomach reminded him that the last time he'd had any sustenance had been the night before. With a sigh he looked at his wristwatch and realized it was barely 10 o'clock. He remember that the B&B was attached to a small diner, so he decided to make his way down the hallway that Granny had showed him earlier. Soon enough he could hear the noise from the workers in the kitchen and could smell the food being served.

As he made his way closer, all his thoughts of meat and potatoes left his mind when a ball of light and sunshine crashed into his arms.

Blinking a few times, trying to gather his thoughts, Killian moved his hands down the soft skin of her arms and around her back. All he could see was bright blond hair, soft curls that smelled like sweet vanilla and exotic flowers. It was a woman, and she was shaking in his arms.

"Please help me. I need to get out of here right now." He was struck frozen for a moment at the sight of her emerald green eyes. But it was the pleading in her voice what propelled him into action. Shaking his head, grabbing her hand and lacing his fingers with hers, an electric current ran straight to his stomach, tightening, but he pushed the once forgotten feeling out of his mind as he turned around and ran with her out of there.

One minute Emma was running away from her date and the next she was being enveloped in strong arms. She didn't have a second to actually see his face, after they bumped into each other. The stranger had run his gentle hands down her arms and very naturally placed them around her waist. Her own hands had been on his very defined and strong chest, and the smell of mint mixed with the sea had been enough to make her shiver.

"Please take me out of here!" After her desperate plea, he had laced their fingers together. Emma didn't know this man, but still she felt safe in his arms.

They ran out of Granny's B&B hand in hand, and they didn't stop. Together they ran down Main Street, until she started to gasp. "Wait– " She stopped abruptly in the middle of the street, trying to catch her breath. But didn't let go of his hand. She was arched down, hands on her knees, her hair covering her face when he spoke worriedly.

"Are you okay, lass?" His hand was still holding tightly onto hers. "I think we are close to the docks, we can be in my boat and out of town in half an hour."

His voice was strong and had a lilting accent that made her insides tighten and a thrill ran down her spine. She giggled. "You are willing to sail me away from a blind date?"

When she stood up to her full length, she found herself face to face with the most gorgeous blue eyes she had ever seen. His face was still hidden in the shadows, but those eyes… those eyes could lead her home in the darkest of nights.

"Blind date?" He asked confused.

Emma tried to find her voice and form a coherent thought. "Yeah. I–" She signaled with her right hand, the one that was not entwined with his, back at the diner a few streets behind them now.

His voice dropped as he looked back down to where they had come from. "You mean to tell me, that I'm helping you escape a blind date?"

"Yes, sort of."

The last thing she expected was for him to laugh… a roaring laugh, masculine and enticing.

"I'm sorry. I just– he was coming after me and I didn't want to face him after running out and hiding in the bathroom."

"And here I thought I was in the middle of a dashing rescue." He said as they started to walk again, neither of them noticing that their fingers were still engaged.

"Sorry buddy, but the only one that saves me, it's me."

"What was there to be saved from? Was he an ogre?" He said teasingly.

Emma looked back at him, pondering his question. "Not really."

"Then why did you feel the need to run away?"

Emma looked up to the sky before she answered. "He wasn't what I imagine."

"Not a prince charming, then?"

"Princes are so over rated. I'd take a pirate with fire in his veins any day." She admitted honestly.

The tall dark hair man turned his head and looked at her profile. She was still looking up at the starry sky. "So you are a though lass then."

They kept walking in silence. The night was clear and not too cold. You could say it was the perfect summer night for a romantic walk. The thought froze her on her spot.

Emma stopped walking, but when he kept going their arms extended and he looked back to her. The both of them looked down to their hands, letting go as if they had been burned.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize…"

He looked up at her and their eyes met for the first time. It was a brief second, but she couldn't handle the intensity of his stare. One minute he was being a gentleman and the next an ice wall came up around him. He stepped back from her and it hit her like a cold shower. His eyes, once expressive and alive had turned into empty pools of darkness.

Clearing her throat she gave him a nod. "It's getting late and I have to get back to–" She tried to find something in his eyes, but he was just frozen. "Thank you for providing a means of escape. I guess I owe you one."

He didn't answer or even acknowledged her words. She started to walk backwards, but when it was clear he wasn't going to utter another word, she turned around and left him standing in the middle of the street looking as if he'd been suckered punched.


	4. Chapter 03

**Chapter| 03**

" _The heart has its reasons,_ _which reason knows not."_

 **\- Blaise Pascal**

Breakfast rush at Granny's Diner had always been a nightmare for Ruby Lucas. She was a night owl as long as she could remember and she took advantage of it during her teenage years, partying hard and living on the edge.

Ruby had been abandoned by her mother, a free spirit that chose life on the road, drugs and men over her own daughter. Granny Lucas was her only family, but the vivacious brunette had taken it for granted. A broken heart had sent the young girl into a downward spiral.

They say apples don't fall far from the tree, and she followed her mother's footsteps. Tempted by her carnal desires, by alcohol and drugs, Ruby had run away from home and ended up in the city. There she met Peter, the owner of a strip club. He used her and forced her to sell sexual favors in return for a place to live.

Seven months into hell, Ruby had been arrested for prostitution and solicitation. Her stay in jail had given her a new outlook in life and family, it had been her saving grace. There she met Emma Swan, they had served almost a year together and became best friends. Ruby finished her sentence before Emma and travelled back to Storybrooke, where she sat down with her grandmother and told her everything she went through swearing to her that she could turn her life around and she had.

It took years for her to show her grandmother that she was ready to be a grown up and take charge of her life. She became a dedicated employee and her hard work had been rewarded when her Granny decided to divide her companies, staying with the B&B and giving Ruby sole ownership of the diner.

"Hey Rubs, we are running out of to go cups and containers." The voice of Alex, one of the waitresses broke Ruby out of her reverie.

"Thanks for the heads up. I'll add it to the order and send the fax after the morning rush." The younger girl nodded and went back to work.

Ruby was too distracted by her morning regulars to notice the tall man walking into the diner. She was ringing up a check when the man sat down at the bar, a bright smile on his face. Without looking directly at the newcomer, she said automatically, "Welcome to Granny's. Be with you in a sec."

Once she finished saying goodbye to the couple she had been tending to, Ruby grabbed the coffee pot and walked over to the end of the bar. Looking up she stopped in her tracks. Sitting there in front of her was the love of her life, a man she hadn't seen in over 10 years.

There he was, Graham Humbert smiling wildly at her. His gray eyes shining in mischief and… _was that happiness?_

"Graham?" Asked Ruby, still in shock.

"Red," was his only answer.

Graham smirked at her and stood up from his sit. "Are you going to stand there or are you going to come closer and give me a hug?"

"Uh– "

Still no sound was coming out of her mouth and no coherent words were forming inside her head either. She had been dreaming about this moment. Imagining what she would say to him if he ever crossed her path again, but in all honesty she had resigned herself at the idea of never seeing him again. And now there he was, in front of her, in her diner, saying something to her that she didn't quite get because she was internally freaking out and the only thing that she could hear was the loud thumbing of her heart.

Alex noticed the moment and came around the bar and grabbed the coffee pot from her hands. She nudged Ruby as she walked away to do rounds of refills. A second later Ruby's feet where moving, taking her around the counter and straight into Graham's arms.

She never imagined ever being there again, surrounded by the soothing calmness and warmth protection of his embrace. She felt whole and at home and she couldn't let herself feel that way again. That's why she pulled away from him, trying to push back the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes.

"God it's been too long. I missed you so much, Wolfgirl." He said still holding one of her hands tight.

"What are you doing here?" She hated that her voice sounded so unstable.

His smile was wider if it was even possible. "You are looking at the new Detective for the Storybrooke PD."

Ruby blinked still in shock. "What?"

"I'm back Rubs. I'm back home, for good."

And just like that her whole life spun on its axis.

* * *

After a very restless night filled with images of a tall, dark hair stranger, pirates and princesses, Emma woke up early. By the time her son decided to make an appearance she had cleaned the bathroom and had breakfast done. Their loft apartment is fairly clean, even though it was the beginning of the weekend.

"How was your date?" Asked Henry as soon as he sat down at the table to enjoy his scrambled eggs.

Avoiding his eyes, she answered vaguely. "Good."

"Just good? Isn't the answer supposed to be great?" The dark hair boy asked with a raise of his brow. In those moments he looked entirely too much like his father and that was not a good thing.

"I'm not talking about my blind date with my teenage son."

"Mom, I'm not asking for details… Ewww." He said before taking a drink of his orange juice. "I think I deserve some information. I mean, you've been avoiding men for too long and I have to keep an eye out for you."

"That's sweet kid, but there's just nothing to talk about. We went to Granny's, had dinner, talked about each other's lives and then said goodbye."

"He was a bore wasn't he? I figured as much, I mean what could we expect from a dentist?"

Emma choked on her food and had to drink some coffee to help her swallow. "Where did you get that?"

"You do know I stay at Aunt Regina's at least two days a week, right? She's the queen of sass, I learned from the best."

"I think I have to rethink your schedules from now on."

"It's not as if you don't have great one liners too."

Before she had a chance to respond to his assessment, there was a knock on the door. She looked back at the clock and realized it was way to early to have visitors. Which only meant one thing…

"Open up Ems. You know you can't hide from me."

Emma groaned, but Henry laughed out loud at Ruby's antics. "I know you are there, because you weren't having breakfast at the diner and your yellow bug it's outside. Open up or I'll keep shouting and your neighbors will hate you!"

The blond moved quickly to the door and opened to find her best friend, who came crashing in like a tornado asking questions a mile a minute. "Tell me everything about your date… How was it? Was he cute? Did he smell good? Was there a good night kiss? Please tell me he didn't ask you to brush your teeth before kissing you."

"Ruby, please breathe. And first tell me what are you doing here? You are supposed to be doing the breakfast shift at the diner."

Anyone else would have missed it, but the light in Ruby's eyes dimmed and her left eye twitch in a telltale sign of distress. "I needed a break. And what better time to come probe you for information."

Emma frowned at the change of topic but at Ruby's double blink she knew she had to save that conversation for later.

She chose the safer topic. "I already established to Henry, that I'm not talking about my dating life in front of him."

"Don't mind me. I'm going to my room, right now." Henry stood up from the table and placed his dishes in the sink. "Something happened she doesn't want to talk about Aunt Ruby, make her tell you." He said as he made his way upstairs.

"So…" Ruby said as she made her way over to the kitchen, where Emma was busying herself. "Tell me everything about Ryan the dentist."

After a moment Emma turned around and sighed. "I really don't feel like telling this story twice. Why can't we wait for our weekly dinner?"

"Are you crazy? That's not until Wednesday!" Said Ruby in a shriek.

"I know."

"It's Saturday!"

"I know that too."

"I think Henry was right. You are hiding something." The brunette said putting her arms over her chest.

Before Emma had a chance to answer, Henry's voice came from the loft. "TOLD YOU!"

Emma looked up with her hands on her hips. "Henry James Swan!"

"I said nothing. This is me lounging in my bed with my ear buds on, while I play level 16 of Diablo…" A second later he added in a fake happy tone. "Hey look at that I just became a knight!"

Ruby covered her chuckled with her mouth. The mother sighed in defeat. "I don't have a baby anymore and it's scary to think that he's been surrounded by very jaded and cynic adults most of his life. I've failed as a mother."

Undeterred, Ruby continued. "I'm calling Regina and Mary Margaret. I think we need an emergency girls night out."

"It's not necessary."

"Oh believe me it is. And not only because of you," came Ruby's reply.

Emma's voice filled with concerned. "What happened Ruby?"

"Something I'm not willing to talk about without the right amount of alcohol in my system."

Noticing that her friend needed her support, Emma conceded. "Okay. I'll call Ashley to see if she can babysit Henry again tonight."

A moment later his voice was clear and happy from his room, "No need, Robin and Roland are planning on a movie night I can stay with them."

"HENRYYYY!"

* * *

Regina Mills hated the early Saturday meetings. It was one of her least favorite tasks as Mayor, but it was something she had to endure if she wanted to have extra time during the weekday mornings to have breakfast with her husband and her son.

Today's meeting was not half as bad as she expected. She had met the Engineer that would be in charge of the development of the new kids playground near the beach. It was a project close to her heart, not only because of Roland and Henry, but because her own experience as child growing up in Storybrooke.

Her mother had moved her to the sleepy little town when she was 8 years old. Cora had wedded Leopold Blanchard, a widower with a 3 years old daughter. Regina had suffered the loss of her father, but she had won a new family. During that time the town was even smaller and undeveloped, but Leopold had given her a home and a happy childhood. She knew that not every kid had the same opportunities in life and it only took meeting Emma Swan and her son Henry to give her new ideas on how to help those less fortunate.

Killian Jones had walked into her office with a very rough design and a lot of great ideas. Even though it was their first meeting, the dark hair Irish, bonus points for reminding her of her husband, had impressed her. And it had nothing to do with his good looks, because truthfully she was married not blind. But still the handsome man looked tired, preoccupied by something else. The project needed work and she hoped that he was the right person for the job.

Regina was waiting on Robin to pick her up so they could go to Roland's tee ball game when she received Ruby's text. It was a 9-1-1 about Emma's date. They were required to meet at the Rabbit Hole at 9pm. This was going to be very interesting indeed.

Killian was walking down the stairs when he got a text from Belle, his boss wanted to know how his meeting had gone. It was a very lucrative job and Killian had to do his best to ensure their company was going to keep it from beginning to end. He was typing a reply when he collided with another man, who in turn was reading a text from his phone.

Killian cursed. "Bloody hell!"

Robin Locksley was about to apologize when he heard the expression and a dimpled smile blossomed on his face. "Is that a fellow Irishman in Storybrooke, I hear?"

The younger man looked up with a raised brow. "It sure looks it. Killian Jones, nice to meet you."

"Robin Locksley. What brings you to our little part of the world?"

"To Storybrooke, work… Destiny perhaps," He mumbled the last part, before he continued. "But I've been living in the States for 20 years, came with my brother when I was a young lad. How about you?"

"A bit more, came to the university, fell in love and stayed."

"Lucky man."

"I have been lucky more times than not. I do have to run, but it's not everyday I find a fellow countryman. If you are staying a few more days and are so inclined, I'd like to invite you to our weekly men night out."

"Men night out?" Killian chuckled.

"That's how my wife's best friends call it. They have their special women only outings and in turn the husbands do the same. We'll be at the Rabbit Hole tomorrow night watching the soccer match, having a pint and playing pool and billiards."

"Sounds like a plan. I might take you up on it."

"Please do, you'll get a kick out of the rest of the merry men." At Killian's curious race of the brow Robin laughed. "A story for another time. It was great to meet you."

They said their goodbyes and Killian kept going on his way. A night out with new people will definitely help him stop thinking about the blond woman that have taken over his mind during the last 12 hours.

* * *

The smell of stale beer and the loud blaring of rock and roll hit her the moment Emma walked into the Rabbit Hole. The place was full with the usual Saturday night fare. She was sure that she was the first one of her friends to arrive, so she made it to the bar to grab some liquid courage before baring her soul to her friends about the disaster of her blind date and the hot stranger that made her heart pound every time she remembered his blue stormy eyes.

"Hey Leroy, the usual."

The bartender growled at one of the patrons and turned to talk to her. "You'll have to give me a minute sister, this is not _blonde's night_ I have a lot of costumers waiting."

Emma smiled at the grumpy man. "Happy to see you're in a good mood tonight."

The bartender ignored her comment and kept filling orders down the line. So she turned around to look at the dancing crowd, trying to find one of her friends. An accented voice brought her back to reality. "Well things have definitely changed in Storybrooke since I was last here."

Emma turned to find a tall, attractive man with kind gray eyes sitting in the stool by her side. "Let me guess, Leroy used to be dreamy?"

He laughed out loud and moved closer. "No, he's been grumpy all his life. Honestly I don't know how he managed to get Nova to fall for him. But the locals are definitely getting prettier."

Emma rolled her eyes. "Really? That's your opening line?"

"Who says it's a line?"

Emma moved away from the bar trying to put a little distance from her and the stranger. "Please."

"My name is Graham Humbert…"

He turned a little more to her in his seat, and she was saved of having to answer him when she heard the bar owner's voice. "Here you go sister."

Emma turned around just in time to pick up her pint of beer from Leroy. "Thanks Leroy. Keep the tab open. I'll be at the usual table with the girls."

The blond was about to walk away when Graham grabbed her elbow, she turned to look at him with murderous eyes and he quickly dropped his hand without been prompted.

"So that's it? A bad opening line and you are running away without giving me your name?"

"I'm not running away, I'm walking. I'm not interested in finding a guy tonight so don't even waste your time buddy."

"What I've seen so far seems worth the effort." He added with a wink.

"Really Humbert?" Emma turned to find Ruby glaring at the man beside her. "Not even in town a few hours and you already found your next target?"

He seemed happy to see her friend, who looked tense. "Red, I went back to the diner to ask you to meet me here but they said you were out and denied me your phone number."

Emma instantly knew this guy had everything to do with Ruby's melancholic mood this morning. It wasn't like her best friend to be so hostile towards anyone, least of all a fairly attractive man. She focused her attention on Ruby, and saw the tense set of her shoulders and icy demeanor.

Ignoring Graham, the brunette yelled at the bartender. "Leroy, I need something strong tonight. How about some tequila? Come on Ems."

Graham voiced his concern at Ruby's dismissal. "Red? It's there something wrong? Have I done anything to upset you?"

"Look Graham, it was nice to see you again. But you haven't been a part of my life in a long time and you can't expect me to drop everything just because you decided to come back home." Ruby turned around and dragged Emma, who was awkwardly watching the exchange, towards their table.

Sitting at the booth in the back of the bar closer to the pool tables, Emma finally spoke. "What was that about?"

"I can't believe he was hitting on you." Ruby was honoring her name by turning a very furious shade of crimson. The waitress brought Ruby's drink and before she left the young woman asked for two more rounds of tequila, Emma's eyes opening in surprise.

"He's the wolf."

Ruby's panicked eyes turned towards her. "What wolf?"

Emma spoke in a soft voice. "The wolf howling at the moon. The one you have tattooed on your back."

"No." The answer was too quick, too false.

Emma drank the last of her beer and regarded her best friend again. "Really? You actually think I'm buying that shitty answer?"

"Leave it alone Emma."

If the tone of Ruby wasn't a warning the deep hurt and watery eyes definitely was. And at the sight, Emma was definitely worried.

"Leave it alone? I remember those words… Ah right, I think those were the words I said once and again about you leaving my dating life alone… Did you listen? No. Did I go kicking and screaming? Yes. Am I in deep shit because of it? Absolutely."

Her friend saw the easy in to try and change the topic. "Deep shit? What the hell happened in that date?"

"Something we will definitely talk about when the rest of the girls get here. But I'm worried about what I just saw. That Graham guy affects you like no one I've ever seen. Not even Billy. Who is he?"

The waitress came to their table and dropped 8 tequila shot's and bowl of limes and salt in the middle of the table, but Ruby didn't even wait to actually down one of them straight. Emma followed her lead, wanting to be supportive and knowing that she was going to need it to listen to whatever Ruby was going to tell her.

"What's the story Rubs? Why were you so cold to him?"

"I'm just ashamed."

"With me? I was your 17 years old pregnant cellmate in prison. You've told me most of your secrets… Even the ones I really didn't want to know."

"Not with you." Ruby was looking down at the table. "Him."

"What is he to you?"

Taking a deep breath Ruby started her tale. "Graham and I, we grew up together. He was the boy next door, my best friend and protector. I've been in love with him since I can remember. He was always a good guy. Boy Scout, captain of the football team, volunteer in the animal shelter… Everything I wasn't. For some unknown reason he liked me. But not as a girl, he liked me as a little sister. Every guy in school wanted to get in my pants but not Graham. So I let every boy in school and the ones that weren't in school inside my pants… trying to make him jealous."

Tears were actually falling from her eyes now and Emma grabbed Ruby's hands in her in support. "Nothing I did ever work. We graduated high school and he left town. He went to the city to do bigger and better things. I followed him to the city but found myself in the middle of a lot of trouble and that's exactly where you met me."

"So you two never–"

Ruby was lost in her memories; she had blocked the noise around her. "We kissed once, he actually told me he loved me. That he always would, but not as I wanted him to, he said it would always be pure. Told me that we were soulmates and two weeks later went off to Boston University. He sent letters at first but then they slowly stopped coming and I went into a downward spiral."

Emma didn't have time to say anything to her friend, before she heard Mary Margaret yelling her name. Ruby quickly dried her eyes careful not do disturb her makeup.

Before the Blanchard-Mills sisters approached the table, Ruby spoke. "Please don't tell them anything."

"We are not done talking about this."

Regina quirked her eyebrow at Emma's warning as she took a sit next to her. "Not done talking about what?"

"Nothing–"

Mary Margaret interrupted Emma's answer with a question of her own. "Tequila shots? You want to kill me, don't you?"

"I needed liquid courage," replied the blond mother.

"Well let's get on with it. Lick it, slam it, suck it." Regina recited the words and the four friends followed the steps, they're the tequila ritual.

"Now. Let's get on with it, what did you do last night?"

Emma told them every single detail of her night. Her friends interjecting their own questions and commentary, but they all stayed quiet once she got to the part of Mr. Tall, dark and handsome. And the strangest thing was the way they all stayed quiet looking at each other for a minute after her story was over.

Ruby was the first one to break the silence incensed. "Why didn't you tell me that you've met Graham last night?"

"I didn't."

Mary Margaret looked between the two friends. "Wait… Graham is back?"

"Not important right now." Ruby answered quickly.

"It was not Graham, Ruby. I don't now his name, but my Mr. Tall, dark and handsome is Irish not British."

"So there's two men with accents hanging around Storybrooke and they both have the hots for you?" Regina said taking a drink from her gin and tonic.

They had all had two new rounds of drinks and they were definitely on their way to drunk.

"They don't have the hots for me."

"Hunk alert!" Mary Margaret said finishing her fruity drink.

"Okay that's enough alcohol for you Mary Margaret." Regina said taking away the glass from her younger sister, who looked up at her with doe eyes feeling and looking like a chastised child. "Don't take it away, I'm starting to enjoy it!"

"Ruby I'm not interested in Graham at all."

"Who's this Graham you've been mentioning?" Regina asked forcefully.

Emma answered, because Ruby was evidently giving her the silent treatment. "He's and old friend of Ruby's. He was flirting with me earlier, but it was totally innocent. I don't like him like that. To be honest I haven't been able to take my mind away from Mr. Tall, dark and handsome."

"Tall, sexy dark hair, brooding, definitely handsome."

Emma looked up at Mary Margaret with a confused smile. "How did you know that, M&M?"

The pixie haired woman nodded towards the bar. "Because he's been trying really hard not to stare at you for the past 20 minutes and had been failing miserably."

Emma's jaw dropped at the sight of him. It was he, her Irish stranger, and he was standing at the bar. His eyes were roaming, but a second later their gaze met. She swallowed at the storm brewing in his eyes. He nodded and picked up the glass he was drinking from and signaled a toast to her and finished it in one gulp. A second later he turned around, dropped some money on the bar and walked away without looking back. Emma followed his movements until he disappeared out the door.

"Holy shit, he is hot! Why is he in Storybrooke? Is he married or otherwise taken?" Ruby asked.

"He doesn't look taken. And if he is, whoever she is, she's in trouble because the way that was looking at you… She was nowhere near his mind," Added M&M.

Emma moved her head from side to side. "Come on. I don't even know his name. Besides he saw me looking at him and ran out of here. He probably think I'm nuts after how we met last night."

"I think you should go after him."

"Mary Margaret, this is not a romance novel. I won't go running after a man I've barely spoken a hundred words to."

"He looks familiar, but I'm too drunk to remember from where." Regina said with a wave of her hand.

"Ems, if you really felt a connection you should take advantage of the liquid courage you've summoned and go after him."

Emma fidgeted in her seat. "He must be long gone."

"GO!"

Ruby and M&M yelled at her and she was prompted to move, almost jumping over Regina. The last thing she saw was her friends laughing and hi fiving each other.

* * *

After finishing a very long phone call with his boss and attempting to work on his research for hours, Killian had decided that he needed fresh air. He went for a walk and ended up back at his boat. On his way back to the B&B he found himself in front of the Rabbit Hole and he remembered the name from his conversation with Robin.

It was early and he surely wasn't going to get any sleep tonight.

The events of the past 24 hours had definitely unsettled him. He knew that his visit to this town was supposed to clear his mind and take his thoughts away from Milah and the person that had her heart. But Killian never imagined was that he was going to find someone new that for the first time in seven years was going to inhabit his every thought. Something like this hadn't happened since he met his love, his Milah. And the idea that someone else was capable of doing that to him scared him.

He walked into the bar with the idea to drinking the blond woman out of his mind. He ordered his favorite dark rum and tried to lose himself in the music and the crowd. And that's when it happened. He saw her sitting on a booth, all blond curls and big evergreen eyes. He had cursed himself for stepping inside the place, but he was also unable to leave. Tried to avoid looking at her, but it was impossible. She was a magnet that seemed to lure him in. When her eyes met his, it was like fire in his stomach. Killian knew he shouldn't have acknowledged her, but he couldn't help it. She seemed surprised to see him there, as conflicted as he felt, but also intrigued. That's why he had run out of there as fast as he could. Because he had the urge to approach her, to find out her name, to get to know her better… and that was not supposed to happened.

"Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, you walk into mine."

He stops in his tracks and turns around to find her smiling down at him. Her hair in disarray, giving away the fact that she had ran out of the bar after him.

He lifts his eyebrow and smirks, taking a step towards her. "Twice in two days… I think this might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."


	5. Chapter 04

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** _First I want to thank you for the Kudos's, favorites and replies. I'm having a lot of fun writing this story. Here's the next chapter, and it's a long one! I apologize in advance because it's going to be angsty… There's a little bit of Ruby/Graham here, but there's a lot of Captain Swan too. I used a line from my first OTP from another fandom here because I thought it fit perfectly to this incarnation of our couple... (Bonus points to whoever finds it!). Please let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy it!_

* * *

 **Chapter| 04**

 _"If your heart is a volcano, how shall you expect flowers to bloom?"_

 **\- Kahlil Gibran**

"Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, you walk into mine."

 _Really?_ That's what comes out of her mouth, she thinks as he turns around. She plasters a smile on her face, because even though she's feeling the alcohol in her system, she knows he's glad she's there.

He lifts his eyebrow in that amusing sexy way, smirks and takes a step towards her. That's when her heart starts to gallop inside her chest and she inhales deeply praying that she doesn't have an episode.

"Twice in two days… I think this might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship," he finishes with a bright teasing smile.

And that's how the sexiest man she's ever met turns into an adorable dork.

At his answer she feels a few blocks fall from the walls around her heart.

"Last night we didn't really have time to introduce ourselves, you know in between all the running." She moves closer, her hands in the back pockets of her jeans.

"Aye."

"My name is Emma Swan," she comes closer pulling her right hand out towards him.

"Killian Jones."

They shake hands and the connection and electricity is undeniable.

"I don't want to keep you. I just saw you over there–" Emma signals to her back towards the bar with her left arm and thumb. "I really wanted to… say hi," she finishes with a sigh.

He looks at her, one of his eyebrows dropping in the sexiest of ways. "You seem out of breath and a little bit frazzled. Do you need me to walk you home?"

She smirks. "Is that your gentlemanly way of saying I'm drunk and shouldn't be walking alone?"

His voice sounds affronted, "I didn't say that lass."

"We are not far away from my place, so if you really want to… I won't keep you from another dashing rescue."

"Alas, finally she accepts the truth." He smiles back and she's pretty sure a few more blocks crumble away from her walls.

They walk down the street in silence and she can feel every little move he makes at her side. The soft breeze surrounds her in his scent: peppermint and spice with a little bit of rum and leather mixed in. He's looking ahead, sometimes up at the night sky and she takes that time to drink him in. Fireflies start to burn in the pit of her stomach and she doesn't know if it's the close proximity, the slight chill in the air or the tequila burning her insides.

"What is it that has you running away from me?" The question is out of her mouth before she can stop it, and she can't help but wander why talking to him feels so natural.

He scratches behind his ear looking down at his black boots. "I wasn't running away from you, lass."

"You could've fooled me."

He sighs and turns his head to look at her, his eyes roaming her face and finally focusing on a spot over her left shoulder. "It's a very complex matter. I didn't know you were going to be there. I wasn't expecting to run into you after last night."

"It's a very small town."

"That it is." He concedes. "And if anyone was running away, I would say it's you."

Emma bites her lower lip and nods. "Fair enough, we did meet while I was running away from my date with Ryan the dentist."

Their eyes meet and those eyebrows of him move up in surprise, again making her insides tremble. "Ryan the dentist? Doesn't sound like much fun."

"To be fair, he didn't do anything wrong."

"But he didn't do anything right either, I wager."

"I ran away from you too."

He nodded slowly and spoke after what felt like minutes. "I don't blame you. I too would keep far away from me self."

Emma frowns at his words. "I'm a little drunk, so I'm taking advantage of my lack of filter. My walls have been stacked miles high, but last night… when you grabbed my hand and helped me escape–"

"Are you accepting that I did in fact acted out a dashing rescue?"

"We've already established you did... I think you might be drunk too." She bumps his arm with hers and swallows when she feels the hard muscle beneath his jacket.

"Anyway the thing is, that from the moment our hands touched, but most importantly from the moment our eyes met… I recognized something in you."

Her confession makes him stop in his tracks, his shoulders tense. He turns around to look at her. Eyes locked on each other, stormy blue eyes against deep emerald green. "What's that?"

"Nothing." Emma tries to turn away from him, but he grabs her arm.

"You can't say something like that and then deny me the answer, Swan."

His quiet and controlled desperation makes her shiver, or maybe it was the sound of her name on his lips for the first time and the heat of his hand on her skin. His eyes follow her to where he's holding her and drops his hand, almost as if her skin was burning him.

"What I meant is… You know what nothing feels like," she says in a very quiet voice.

Killian's face turns into stone. "That's pretty much where I live."

"I used to live in nothing too."

"Used to?" He inquired with a raced brow.

She realizes that she can't take the intensity of his stare so she starts walking again, turning at the corner and coming closer to her building.

"I used to be a mess, but then something happened that completely changed my life." She went silent, lost in the memories. Growing up feeling empty and alone. Falling in love, having her heart broken. Giving birth to her son and the days waiting for the news, would she live or die?

"Life's punches knocked me down hard, so I started to guard my heart. I built walls higher than the Empire State. And then life took it upon herself to remind me that it doesn't matter how much you protect your heart… if it's meant to break, it will. But if it can be broken it means it still works."

He turns to look at her again, his hand absently running over his heart. "A week ago, I would've given you a million reasons for why your point of view was completely wrong."

"What's changed since then?" She asks stopping in front of her building.

Their eyes find each other and Emma's heart skips a beat when she sees all the words he hasn't said, the ache and loss. But she also sees the want and a hint of possibility swimming in the ocean of his eyes.

A thrill runs down her spine at his quiet and sincere answer. "Everything."

* * *

Graham Humbert was a man on a mission. After sleeping off the massive hangover he'd gotten the night before, he'd made up his mind. He didn't care what she thought. He was getting his best friend back. It was mid morning and he'd already drank two cups of coffee, and now he was walking towards Granny's, wanting to have a very long conversation with Ruby Lucas.

As he made his way down Main Street, he noticed her walking towards him down the opposite sidewalk. As soon as he saw her, he crossed the street and walked towards her.

The minute Ruby saw Graham walking towards her, her heart skipped a beat and she tried to walk around him but it was too late. "Hey, hey, hey… Not so fast."

When she spoke to him, her eyes were cold. "I don't have time for another let's rekindle our friendship spiel. I have to get to the bank before it closes and then back to the Diner before the next shift starts."

Graham nodded and signaled for her to continue walking. "I'll walk with you."

Ruby raced a brow in annoyance. "Don't you have somewhere else to be? Something else to do?"

He gave her a half smile. "No, I don't. There's nothing more important to me than this."

His words make Ruby stop in her tracks. "This? What are you talking about? There's nothing here." She finished signaling the empty space between them.

"That, right there is exactly what I'm talking about. What did I do to make you hate me so much?" His voice dropped and he couldn't hide the hurt in his voice.

"I don't hate you." She said quietly, avoiding his face.

"You could've fooled me. You know what the first thing I did before dropping my bags inside my apartment? I ran to the diner, because I was dying to see your face and hold you in my arms."

He hated that he couldn't read her as well anymore. He had noticed her become guarded with her feelings. Her eyes were still an open book and he didn't buy her cold unfeeling act.

Graham prepared himself mentally to fight her, but the next words out of her mouth cut him deeply. "Maybe you shouldn't have come looking for me... Maybe you shouldn't have come back at all."

She turned around and started walking again, turning around a corner and crossing the street once more. He followed looking at the tense set of her shoulders and back. She was good at hiding, but he was good at hunting and he was not one to give up.

Soon he was by her side again. "Do you know why I left, Red?"

She started walking faster, but answered absentmindedly. "Because you were bored with small town life and wanted an adventure?"

Graham shook his head. "I left because I wanted to see the world. You're partly right I wanted adventure. During high school I felt an incessant emptiness in my heart."

His answer seemed to sting her. "It's nice to know the people that loved you weren't enough."

He ran a hand over his face in frustration and kept walking by her side. When she didn't give any signs of stopping he grabbed her elbow and turned her to face him. "That is not what I meant and you know it. You are everything to me. That's why I came back. I traveled the world, went to school, met lots of new people… But the hole in my heart never filled. If anything it became even bigger."

She blinked in surprise at his admission, but didn't say anything, so he took it as a sign to continue. "One day I realized that I just missed home. That warmth of walking the streets and saying hello to people who actually know you, and most importantly… I missed you, my best friend. Your eyes, your smile…" He smirked at her. "Your temper tantrums and hormonal outbursts."

Her eyes softened for a minute and then turned cold again. "I am not hormonal!"

"Why are you pushing me away?"

"I'm not–"

He interrupted her before she could continue lying to him. "Don't even try to deny it. I know you better than you know your self."

She spoke again, fire in her green eyes and a finger pointed at his face. "That's exactly it Graham." Her voice broke a little then. "The girl you used to know, I am not her anymore. While you were traveling the world, meeting people, falling in love and having your monumental life epiphany, she grew up and learned the hard way that life was not a fairytale."

"Fair enough. I get it's been over 10 years and that people change… So let's make a deal."

"What kind of deal?" Ruby asked suspiciously.

"Let me get to know you again."

"Why would you even bother?"

He looked at her then. Found her eyes and kept her gaze in his, willing her to believe what he was about to say. "Because you are the most important person in my life and I'm tired of having a heart that's half empty."

"How– how do you expect we'll do that?"

"For starters you stop avoiding me, and agree to actually sit down to have dinner with me. My day off is Wednesday, what do you say?"

After what felt like forever she answered. "Okay."

Graham felt his heart unclench and relief filled his whole body as he watched her walk away.

* * *

Growing up Emma didn't have a real family. She spent most of her childhood and adolescence jumping from foster house to group home to foster house again, until she got tired of being mistreated and ran away. Once in the streets, she learned to be distrusting of people and became a loner. She fell in love and the bastard only confirmed all her fears, leaving her pregnant and in jail.

Her only family was her baby boy. Henry became her universe. It wasn't until Ruby came back into her life and asked her to move to Storybrooke that she learned what it was to have friends and a real family. It all started with Granny Lucas, her best friend's grandmother took her in, gave her a home and a job. She was there through her toughest moments, encouraging her when she went back to school and taking care of Henry when she was just too tire to keep her eyes open.

Then there was Mary Margaret Blanchard. She used to go to school with Ruby, but they were not close back then. She was a schoolteacher and was married to the town's Sheriff, David Nolan. Emma and Mary Margaret met when the blond mother was a waitress at the Diner. They bonded over their preference of hot cocoa, whipped cream and cinnamon. Soon the three of them became inseparable.

Later Emma met Mary Margaret's half sister, Regina Mills- Blanchard through her cardiologist Robin, who turned out to be Regina's boyfriend and later her husband.

She used to be a lonely, lost girl. Now she had more family than she knew what to do with. That's why she had such a specific weekly schedule. Sunday afternoons were for the Nolan's. So here she was at Mary Margaret and David's house enjoying one of her friends homemade dinners.

"So Graham Humbert _is_ back. I sort of remembered us talking about that with Ruby last night."

"Yeah with Phillip and Aurora getting married and moving to Chicago, we had an open spot at the station. Imagine my surprise when I receive an application and letter of recommendation for one Graham Humbert."

"Were you guys friends in school?" Emma inquired.

"Not really. I was a couple of years ahead of him and he was sort of a lone wolf."

"Except for Ruby." Interjected Mary Margaret. "They used to be joint at the hip, one didn't take a step without the other."

"Graham will be a great addition to our Department. He has a great record and knows the town like the back of his hand."

They continue eating in silence, until David looked back up. "You know he's single. Maybe…"

"Really?" Emma said dropping her fork.

"I was just putting it out there. Things with Ryan the dentist didn't go as planned, maybe Graham will be different."

Emma turned to look a Mary Margaret, her eyes blazing. "You told him about my date?"

Mary Margaret had the decency to blush. "We are married. We don't keep anything from each other."

Henry looked around the table and then up at his mom. "You know that's not such a bad idea."

"What?" The blond woman asked in a high pitch voice.

"For you to go on another date. I mean really no one could be as bad as Ryan the dentist."

Emma's eyes were as big as saucers, feeling the eyes of everyone in the table fixated on her. "What is my life?" She dropped her face in her hands and let out a loud grunt.

* * *

The Rabbit Hole was buzzing when he walked in that afternoon. Killian was still not convinced this was such a good idea. If he was true to himself, he knew he had been over indulging on his libations as of late. Between the anniversary of Milah's death and learning that someone somewhere had her heart beating inside his chest his life had gone on a downward spiral. He felt as he had three years ago when he had woken up to the news of her passing: desperate, confused, empty and alone.

And then he met her. Emma Swan had brought light into his life. The woman was smart, funny… She certainly was beautiful, but not his usual type. He'd never felt attracted to blond hair, fair skin and freckles before. Not until her. And it wasn't just physical either; there was an inexplicable connection between them, something deep and dare he say powerful.

They both knew what nothing felt like. She definitely intrigued him and if he was true to himself that was what scared him the most. That feeling of wanting she woke in him, the feeling of something growing inside him, like a little bud trying to blossom in the middle of his deserted heart.

He usually kept to himself and avoided making connections with people. His only friends were Belle and Will, and he was quite content with that.

But there was something about the Robin bloke that made him feel at ease. And if there was something he needed these days it was peace.

His mind was still reeling from his encounter with Emma Swan the night before. If he had been dreaming about her before, now he was royally screwed.

That's why he was back at the bar. Ready to drown the ghosts of what could be.

"Hello, mate!" He heard Robin's voice as soon as he walked inside.

The taller man approached Killian and shook his hand, slapping his back as they made their way over to the rest of the men. The introductions were made quickly and soon he was part of the group of men enjoying their libations and a friendly game of darts.

"How long are you staying in our little town?" David, Robin's best mate, asks Killian in between drinks of his beer.

"As long as the job demands. It usually takes between 8 weeks to 6 months."

"You most be so happy about that!" Came the sarcastic response from the tall blond doctor, one Victor Whale. "I mean this folks love it here, but worldly men like us… we need city life."

"You git! You love Storybrooke the same as us." Robin teased one of his friends. "He just hates that the women in town have his game down and it's been difficult to play them."

"He's right." The younger doctor said with a secretive smile.

"I don't mind small town life. Actually I've been needing this kind of distraction."

David looked towards Killian, empathy filling his bright eyes. "Why is that? Looking to heal a broken heart?"

"Is there such a thing as healing for a broken heart?" Killian replied.

* * *

Any Given Sundae was their last stop, as Emma and Henry finish their family Sunday. They met Ruby at the entrance and proceeded to buy their late afternoon treat. The three of them sat in one of the tables outside and watched people walk by them, saying hello and crossing a few words with a few of them.

Emma noticed that Ruby seemed tense again. She hadn't had time to talk to her about Graham or Killian. Not that there's much to say about the later… Quickly she blocks the thoughts of him, so they don't take over her mind.

She shakes her head, blond curls bouncing as she takes another spoonful of her rocky road ice cream sundae and smiles down at her son. It's then that she notices that Henry's attention is on the new arrivals at the ice cream parlor. A woman and her daughter, beautiful silky dark hair and toasted skin, almond shape eyes the color of mocha. A smirk forms on her lips. Violet…

"Hey, Henry isn't that girl in your classroom?" It was Ruby who had asked, a mischievous tone to her voice. Apparently she had also noticed his flustered expression and light blush.

The young boy startles at the question and quickly goes back to his ice cream, which after being neglected was dripping from his cup. "Yeah."

Ruby gives Emma a knowing look and jumps back in. "Why don't you ask her to join us?"

Henry's head straightens instantly, his eyes opened wide. "What? No."

"Why not? Don't you like her?"

"Li- like her? Who says I like her?"

"Henry, you always talk about how intelligent she is and how great she is at math. You seem to spend a lot of time together during lunch and recess. I thought you were friends."

"We are." Henry goes back to looking at his ice cream.

Emma smiles to herself and shakes her head. She knows first hand how terrible it feels to be ambushed by the well-meaning Ruby Lucas. So she takes pity on her son and makes an offer he can't refuse.

"Look, kid. We are okay here. You don't have to stay with us. Go meet your friends and hang out for a couple hours."

"Really?" His eyes are shinning as he turns to her with a hopeful expression.

"Yes, really. Go, but be sure to be back at the loft in 2 hours."

He drops his spoon and stands up with a huge smile. "You are the best! Love you, mom."

"Hey what am I? Chopped liver?" Ruby proclaims feigning insult.

"Love you too, Aunt Ruby!" He throws back as he makes his way down the street away from them.

Once he's out of earshot they smile together. It's Ruby who utters the words she'd been thinking. "He's grown so much, so fast."

"I know. I don't have a baby anymore."

"All the more reason to find a man. So you can start practicing the baby making skills." The brunette says as she wiggles her eyebrows.

"Wow. Let's ease into the topic why don't you."

"Come on Ems. We've been friends far too long to beat around the bush for this kind of conversations. Tell me what did the British hunk say last night?"

"Irish." She mumbles as she eats the last of her ice cream.

"What?"

"He's Irish, not British."

"Okay. What else did you find out last night?"

"Not much. I was really drunk, why did you guys let me go after a man in that kind of state?"

"Shut it, you were feeling it not wasted." Ruby's mama bear mode was activated then. "He didn't try to take advantage of you, did he?"

"Of course not Rubs, he was a total gentleman and walked me home. We talked… It was nice."

She wasn't aware of the way her eyes soften at the memory of the way her voice got a sweet hopeful tone to it, but Ruby did and smiled in triumph.

"You like this guy. Really, truly like him."

Emma frowned at her. "How can I like him? I barely know him."

"Chemistry. I mean love at first sight is a thing."

"A made up thing." Emma deadpanned. "Lust at first sight, I can understand. But love? Nope."

"Are you saying you are lusting about this mysterious, black leather clad stranger?"

"No." The blush was instant as Emma remembered his thick accented voice, the smell of peppermint and the sea, the way his eyes looked so lost and empty. "Okay. Maybe I like him more than I should."

"Good. Because he just walked into Granny's Diner. Go!"

"What?" She turned trying to get a glance of the pirate that had stolen her every thought for the past few days.

"You are so whipped! Go, talk to him. Ask him out."

A strange electric feeling originated in the pit of her stomach, it was anticipation of seeing him again and the rush of the possibility of asking him out and him saying yes.

* * *

It was early when he bid farewell to the group of men at the local bar. Not that he didn't enjoy their company, which was rather surprising, but because of the change in topic. At the arrival of Jefferson, a single father, and Phillip a young man preparing for his wedding, the lighthearted talk became thick with domesticity. Both Robin and David were married and had their own woes. Victor, the only other single man of the group had slithered away finding a new conquest, leaving him to fend for himself.

Soon his ears and his mind were filled with images of the live he always dreamt about with his wife Milah. The truly alarming thing was when the hair of the woman in his mind changed from dark mocha to bright yellow curls. He couldn't stay there one more minute, so he went back to Granny's Diner.

Making his way over to the counter, he sat down and ordered a tumbler of spiced rum. He was pleasantly buzzed after his afternoon with the men of Storybrooke. But the golden hair and bright smile was still very present in his mind. So he needed rum to numb the feelings and to silence the voices in his head.

"Killian!"

He was finishing his third glass of rum and he felt like it was finally doing its job when he heard her voice.

"Go away," he mumbled as he waved his hand over his head. "You are not supposed to be here."

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to bother you. I– I'll just leave."

He turned around grumbling and that's when he saw her. She was standing a few feet away from him, her hair was down around her face and her eyes seemed… hurt. But he didn't bloody care, because he needed to fix this. He needed to take her out of his mind once and for all.

"Leaving or staying… It won't help. You will still be in here." He says pointing at his head. "You've been there since the other night and there's nothing I can do to take you out of there."

"I'm sorry. I didn't…"

He stands up from the stool and walks clumsily closer to her. "Stop saying you are sorry. This has nothing to do with you!"

"It kind of does. You are cursing the fact you've met me in front of a lot of people so…"

Killian interrupts her again. "This wasn't supposed to happen. You weren't supposed to happen."

"I don't understand. You are not making any sense. I recommend you lay of the rum, drink a black coffee, try to sober up and go to sleep."

Emma tries to walk around him, but he stops her with his hand on her arm. He turns her around to face him. His eyes are turbulent again, swirling with conflict and desire.

"Don't you get it? I can't sleep… I can't work… I can't even think about her… Every time I close my eyes there's only you!" Her green eyes open big and he tries to step back but he doesn't let her go. "Whenever I try to think about dark soft curls, they turn into bright golden… And then your eyes so much like hers, but so different… So green, so full of hope and light… I need to go back to nothing. I shouldn't feel this way."

Killian was aware there were people around them, but he didn't care. All he cared about was the way his skin tingled whenever they touched. When she pulled out his grasp and pushed him out the door and into the outside patio of the diner, he let out a soft sigh.

"If there's a woman in your life Killian, then you should've said something last night." Her voice was forceful, but controlled. "We've spoken twice. There's nothing going on between us. We can both just keep out of each other's path."

"But you don't get it… I–" He exhales slowly. "I wish it could be so easy."

"I thought we had come to an understanding last night. A tentative friendship if not…" She said shaking her golden curls. "I don't know what you want from me Killian."

"I want things to be different. I want to have something inside me instead of this black void that destroys everything it touches… I wish I could give you what you need."

Her eyes went cold and her face was hard. "You have no idea what I need."

He walked closer then, disregarding her personal space and placed a hand on the side of her face. She fought the need to close her eyes and move her head closer.

"You my fair Swan, deserve happily ever after… A man that's whole, not this shell of a human that's filled with ghosts."


	6. Chapter 05

**Author's Note:** _Thank you, thank you, thank you... To everyone that reading and reviewing this story. It means that you are enjoying it and that the jumble mess I have in my head it's translating into something good. Special thanks to_ Anonymous Reader for ever, your reviews made my day! Thanks for the possitive feedback. Here's the next one, enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter| 05**

" _A light heart lives long."_

 **\- William Shakespeare**

There was nothing quite like the feeling of freedom she felt while on her morning runs, and she missed it.

Emma's usual morning routine was ruined ever since Mr. Tall dark and handsome came barging into her life.

 _Or she came barging into his…_

Meeting Killian Jones had definitely affected her, in ways she still wasn't sure she was ready to acknowledge. For the last few days she'd gone out of her way to keep away from Main Street, Granny's and even the docks. After their last conversation, she wasn't sure she wanted to run into him again.

 _Because maybe she did want to see him… But maybe she shouldn't._

She had spent way too much time rehashing their encounters, running every word they've spoken to each other, trying to figure out what had happened to make him so anxious and miserable. But she was drawing a blank. She hadn't been a desperate hag trying to coax him into a date or anything. _Was she?_

 _Nope, she hadn't._

Their encounters had been both serendipitous… _Was that a word?_ And then there was the connection… the emptiness and almost anguish tone of his voice when he told her she deserved better, that he was nothing… a broken man. But he had also told her he couldn't stop thinking about her, which she could definitely understand… She couldn't stop thinking about him either…

And then there was the _Her,_ he had talked about.

 _Was he married?_

Did he have a woman back home, wherever that was?

God she had to stop… Stop thinking about him and her and whatever it was they had if anything… Because the only thing that was clear from their last encounter was that he didn't want to see her again. And she was going to do everything in her power to try and comply with his request.

 _So much for a quiet morning run…_

* * *

Just like the last two days, Killian made his way towards the coast. Along the docks, down the beach and up the cliff towards the abandoned plot of land that the mayor's office had bought for development.

It was early, but the sun was already up and shining off the water. He'd hardly slept anymore, so he'd started his work early in the morning. All his equipment was in place and he had been taking notes when he saw her. For a minute Killian thought his mind had been playing tricks on him. He hadn't been able to stop his mind from wondering towards her and their last encounter. She'd seem taken back by his words. And why wouldn't she, he'd been sputtering nonsense her way. She didn't know that he was a broken man, a man empty and with nothing to give. She didn't know about his past, and the woman he'd loved and lost… They were practically strangers and he'd resolved that that was how they shall remain.

After their encounter he had left her in the middle of the courtyard of Granny's Dinner a shocked and sad expression on her face. He'd decided to stop drinking to numb himself once and for all. But he'd still dreamt of her, he saw her every time he closed his eyes and thought of her at odd times during the day. He had done a good job of pushing her away it seems, because for the last 2 days, 10 hours and 34 minutes they hadn't crossed paths.

Until today…

The blond slowed down her jog to a walk and started stretching her arms over her head. And he couldn't stop his eyes from wondering down her toned body. Her long hair was tied back into a ponytail. She was wearing a long sleeve hoodie zipped all the way to her neck in a neon green color and very tight running pants in a neon green and turquoise blue design. She stopped to tie her shoelaces and took advantage of her position to do a few leg stretches… Killian couldn't take his eyes away from her lithe body. He was only a man after all. All thoughts of keeping his distance fled from his head as he called her name.

"Swan!"

She didn't turn around. Instead she began to walk away. Killian should've let her go, but he didn't. Making his way down the small hill he'd been standing on, he moved closer to the gorge. "Swan!"

She turned away from him and gave one last look at the ocean in front of her and was about to pick up her jog again when he approached her. "Emma!"

He stopped close to her and saw her turn around, her eyes opened big in surprise. He spoke, his lips turned up in a smirk. "This is starting to become a habit. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were about to run away from me again."

She blinked a few times and pulled the cord from her ear buds and showed them to him. "I actually was, but it was completely unintentional. I didn't hear you call my name."

They looked at each other uncertain, neither knowing what to say or do. He hated that she seemed distant and uncomfortable, when she'd been so warm and friendly before even though they were practically strangers.

"What are you doing out of bed so early?" He asked tentatively.

"Out for a jog." She replied shortly.

"Do you usually follow such a strenuous regime? You certainly don't seem to need that much exercise to keep in shape." He said raising his brow in appreciation.

"I jog every morning… Well almost every morning."

"I've been coming here before dawn for the past two days and hadn't had the pleasure of running into you. Not many people wonder this parts."

"I do different trails…"

"Trying not to run into any unsavory characters?"

She let out an unnerved sigh and rolled her eyes. "It's getting late. I have to head back home. Today I was distracted and wondered farther away than I'm used do."

His eyes dropped and his hope faded instantly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to keep you."

Killian didn't know what he was expecting, but it wasn't to watch her give him a nod and turn around to head back towards the docks.

"Swan..." He couldn't help himself, trying to say something, desperately wanting to hold on to her company for a little longer. But he didn't know exactly what he could say that would fix whatever he broke between them.

She turned around and he couldn't help but give her a sad smile. "It was good to see you."

She gave him a brief nod, turning around and picking up her pace running away from him as fast as she could.

Killian went back over to his equipment, but after a few minutes of trying to log the numbers he'd been working on, he gave up all pretenses. Seeing her again had shook him to the core.

He grabbed his phone and dialed the number. There was only one person that could put his mind into perspective. Three rings later came the answer.

" _Killian? What's going on?"_ Belle's sleepy voice came from the speaker.

"Nothing is wrong." He said almost offended at the question.

" _Then why are you calling so early in the morning?"_

He scratched behind his right ear and closed his eyes, trying to mask his voice. "Isn't it customary for a friend to call another to see how she's doing?"

" _Not at…"_ He heard her rummaging around her bed. _"7am?"_

"Sorry I disturbed your slumber. I sometimes forget not everyone has the same sleeping afflictions I do." He turned around to look over at the waves breaking down the small cliff.

The sweet sleepy voice, turned worried. _"Are you having nightmares again?"_

"Not necessarily."

" _What does that even mean? You either have a nightmare or not."_

"I didn't dream about the accident or Milah… But I've been dreaming a lot this last few days."

" _Dreaming about what?"_

"That would be about who." He murmured, moving one of his hand to the back of his ear.

" _Who are you dreaming about Killian?"_

"First of all let me tell you, you were right."

" _That's not news my dear. I'm always right."_ She stopped her teasing and spoke, confusion clear in her voice. _"Wait, what exactly was I right about?"_

"This trip to Storybrooke has helped a lot. It mostly stopped me from having nightmares and I haven't thought once about the person that has Milah's heart."

" _That's great news! Isn't it?"_

"I'm still not sure it's good news or not. But it's something different."

" _Killian, I usually can follow your rambles to the T. But it's way too early and I haven't had my first cup of coffee yet. What are you not to tell me?"_

"I met a woman."

* * *

He heard the loud crash of something and the loud grumbled from Will before she yelled at him. _"You what?"_

Her dream of having a quiet day had gone to hell early in the morning. Her daily run far from relaxing her, it had brought forward more questions on top of the ones she already had about Killian Jones. Work had been a nightmare with nonstop calls, lost files and late meetings…

And now here she was, getting ready for her weekly dinner with her friends and she was sure that she would be bombarded with questions and comments about Mr. Tall dark and handsome. Questions not even she had answers to.

Taking one last deep breath she knocked on the white door. Henry was standing by her side a huge grin on his face. Soon the door opened to reveal a very excited 6 years old.

"MAMA… HENRY IS HERE!" Came the yell from a very little munchkin.

Emma and Henry laughed out loud at the smiling little cinnamon roll. Roland Locksley was a looker, big brown eyes and cute little dimples…

He managed to mumble a "Hi Auntie Emma", before he grabbed her son's hand and ran upstairs.

Regina made it to the foyer in time to guide Emma towards the kitchen. "I swear my kid is going to strain his vocal cords and become a mute before he turns ten."

"Don't be a drama queen, sister. He's just a sweet, excited, happy boy."

Emma could hear Mary Margaret's sweet melodic voice, before she actually saw the pixie brunette. A minute later, the smiling face of her friend appeared from inside the oven with a tray of fresh apple turnovers.

"I could make a great queen. I've always considered myself very regal, thank you very much." Came Regina's answer as she sipped from her wine glass.

Mary Margaret left the tray of pastries on the cooling rack and walked around towards Emma with two glasses of wine. "Ruby canceled last minute. I think she's seeing someone."

Emma looked away praying for them to not notice her concern. Could it be that she's with Graham? It's been two days since she talked to Ruby, which was very suspicious indeed. She made a mental note to go see her early tomorrow at Granny's.

"What about you?" Regina's question brought her back.

"What about me?" Emma said trying to be inconspicuous.

"How's it going with Mr. Tall dark and handsome?"

She asked casually and Emma couldn't suppress the sigh that escaped her lips. "It's not going anywhere and I don't want to talk about it."

"What happened?" Mary Margaret asked warmly putting her hand on top of Emma's.

"Nothing."

M&M shook her head and tapped Emma's hand before taking a step back. "We've been friends for almost a decade… Do you actually think I believe that pitiful attempt at a lie? Give me some credit."

"I just thought we had clicked… that we had connected, but I saw him on Sunday night at Granny's and he was very clear on where he stands. He wants nothing to do with me."

Mary Margaret's innocent eyes opened wide. "Is he gay?"

"Nope. I actually think that he's married or otherwise involved."

"No. He's not." Regina stated clearly with a raised brow.

"How would you know Reggie?" M&M asked her sister.

"After I wore off my hangover on Sunday, I remembered who he is… I had a meeting with him early Saturday. He's a coastal engineer, I think he's a widower."

"What?" It was Emma's turn to react. A thousand thoughts were running inside her head.

"I'm not certain. But I can definitely make a few calls and find out." Regina said before taking a sip of her wine glass.

Everyone was quiet for a few minutes. Emma was lost in thought, the fact that he was working for her friend and would probably be hanging around town longer, that he was a widower and that she could possible get answers if she wanted to. But no, whatever answer she could get about him, about them… she wanted to get herself.

"Please don't do anything Regina. I- I have to go."

"What do you mean you have to go? We haven't even started on dinner yet." M&M asked worriedly.

Emma turned around and started to walk towards the front door. "Regina can you take care of Henry for a few hours?"

"Of course. He and Roland are playing videogames right now and they won't come out of that room until they get hungry."

"Good." Emma pulled open the door, but turned around when she heard Mary Margaret's voice.

"Where are you going Emma?"

"To get some answers."


	7. Chapter 06

**AN:** _First I want to thank everyone who has read, left kudos, favorites and comments. It means a lot to me that this work is being appreciated by such an amazing group of people. I also want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Years. I really like how this chapter turned out and I hope you like it too. Enjoy!_

* * *

 **Chapter| 06**

" _A light heart lives long."  
_ **\- William Shakespeare**

" _I met a woman."_

 _He heard the loud crash of something and the loud grumbled from Will before she yelled at him._ _"You what?"_

" _It's not what you–"_

" _That's great, Killian!" He could hear the delight and surprise in her voice._

" _Don't go pulling out pen and paper to write down a grand love story, lass. She's just a woman I met." Killian had to fight the urge to disconnect the call._

" _If you are dreaming of this woman, and you are calling at 7 in the morning to tell me about her… I'm afraid she's not just any random woman you've met. She matters to you."_

" _How the bloody hell can she matter to me? I don't even know her. We've hardly talked, and I've been smashed almost every single time. I was a bloody wanker to her already." His voice was almost desperate._

" _What did you do?"_

" _I- how about I start from the beginning, but only if you have time. I don't want to impose on you…"_

" _Start talking, Jones!" She said in an exasperated tone._

Killian had talked to Belle for over an hour, up until she had to get ready to go into the office. She had put his mind at ease as he suspected she would.

The beautiful Australian became a friend as soon as she walked into his office 7 years ago wearing gravity defying high heels. Soon he found out she was more than bright eyes and bold fashion sense. She was the smartest person he knew and had a fire burning hot inside her that shined through her every pore.

Her and Milah became fast fiends. Soon Belle and her fiancée, Will Scarlet, were permanent fixtures on weekend trips and weeknight dinners. After the accident, he realized that Belle was his sounding board, an angel sent to watch over his shoulder.

Today he'd recounted every encounter he'd had with Emma Swan and the worries that were wrecking havoc in his heart. Belle had listen sometimes patiently and sometimes excitedly, but at the end she gave him the perspective he needed.

" _Killian, you have to stop punishing yourself."_

" _I don't know what you mean?" Killian said taken aback by her comment, but knowing fully well what she was referring to._

" _Don't play dumb. You know perfectly well what I'm talking about." She went quiet for a second, but he could literally hear her wheels turning. "What happened to Milah was an accident, her passing was not your fault. You have to stop punishing yourself for surviving that accident, because truthfully you were spared for a reason. It was her time to go, but it's still your time to live."_

A lot of people had hinted and skidded around that sentiment since the accident, but no one had ever said the words. Somehow he always knew he could count on Belle to tell him exactly what he needed to hear.

He stood there overlooking at the horizon in front of him. Clear blue sky, bright and crisp morning air… He knew Milah would want him to go on, to move forward…

After that call, he tried to go back to work but it was pointless. His mind was not in calculations and research, but on a certain blond woman and the possibility of being free of the guilt prison he'd built around his heart.

* * *

Ruby Lucas was hiding.

She was hiding from her friends, because she didn't want them to see her inner turmoil reflected on her eyes. They were so in sync that they could read each other with just one look.

She was hiding from her Granny, because by now she knew that Graham was back in town and her questions would certainly create even more stress on her.

She was hiding from Graham, because she didn't want to get into another discussion with him and she was desperately trying to find an excuse to decline his dinner invitation.

But most importantly she was hiding from herself, because every time she looked in the mirror, every time she closed her eyes or tried to function like any other human being she would be reminded of her life choices… and she was ashamed.

She was ashamed of the mistakes she made growing up. She was ashamed of the life she used to live, the one that sent her straight to jail and other even darker places she'd rather forget.

Ruby had rectified her life, turned into a mature adult. But the weight of the past was too heavy on her shoulders and an ever-present reminder of why her happy ending was never meant to be.

Graham Humbert wasn't supposed to walk back into her life.

Having him here, so close had turned her life and heart upside down. Because he was also a reminder of the life she dreamt of, the one she had let go a long time ago.

Earlier on she used to blame him for how her life turned out.

 _If only he had noticed her, if only he had felt the same, if only he had stayed…_

Having him face to face was making her deal with her feelings. And she just wasn't ready.

She finished her shift at the diner, but stayed closed up inside the back office under the pretext of paper work and payroll. She spent the day in between flashbacks of her and Graham hanging out after school, his unruly hair and wide smile… Moments that made her heartbeats accelerate and her lips smile. But then the dark images, the ones she'd been trying to bury deep down would resurface. The nights spent drunk and drugged up, lying on her back while strange men did whatever they wanted with her body…

No. She couldn't see Graham. She couldn't sully the image he had of her. But she couldn't lie to him either. So making her decision she grabbed her bag and a stack of papers and walked to the back of the diner and through the B&B. She could get to her apartment sooner that way and she had less of a chance to run into him. She turned around the corner and all her plans of escape turned to dust.

There he was, smiling wide at her Granny, and she was eating up whatever he was saying with a spoon and a toothy smile.

"There you are!" Granny Lucas' voice made her stand up straight. "Where have you been all day? I did my rounds a few times and Ashley told me you were holed up in the office."

Ruby walked closer to her grandmother and studiously avoided looking up at Graham. "Paper work, doing the books and payroll. It all caught up to me and I was behind."

"Somehow I doubt that. You've been nothing if not organized and punctual. No one knows the diner's business better than you."

Ruby's eyes widen in wonder at her grandmother's compliment. "Come on Granny, you know this better than anyone… It's your business, you built it from the ground up."

"But you my girl, you've bested me."

The older woman closed the book she still held in her hand and pushed her glasses up her nose. Her eyes traveled from Ruby to Graham. She was trying very hard to ignore him. But the young man didn't have eyes for anything other than her granddaughter. She let out a loud "hum".

"Graham here was looking for you. It seems like you have a date tonight."

The young brunette looked at her best friend then. He looked as panic as she did at her granny's words. And he didn't waste a moment amending her statement. "It's not a date Granny, just a dinner." He looked down at Ruby, eyes shining a half smile adorning his lips. "A special dinner between old friends."

Granny moved her head slightly from side to side and murmured, _"You both are still as clueless as ever."_ She moved away from the counter and busied herself rearranging the keys of the empty rooms that were dangling from small little hooks on the wall.

"I can't have dinner with you tonight."

Graham turned his attention to Ruby. "Why not?"

She showed him the papers in her arms. "I'm busy, I have a lot of work to finish."

"Nonsense!" Came Granny's reply as she turned back towards them. "Give me that." She grabbed the stack of papers from Ruby's arms and looked over them. "End of the month audit papers? That can wait a few more days."

Graham smiled wide at the older woman, but Ruby looked pissed. "Go enjoy dinner, have a night off… Get reacquainted with your _old friend_."

"Brilliant! Thank you so much Granny!" He turned and grabbed Ruby's hand pulling her behind him. "Come on Red, we can get takeout on the way."

Ruby could only roll her eyes as she moved behind him.

* * *

Killian spent all afternoon on his ship. He took the Jolly Roger out and sailed away trying to out run his chains, the hurt and his ghosts.

Out on the open sea, blue skies and clear water, he was able to put his thoughts in order. Deep down he's always known that he had to move on, let Milah go and rest in peace. It's not as if he hadn't tried. He'd even accepted help and gone to a therapist. He'd been diagnosed with survivor's guilt, something Killian didn't want to admit or take seriously. Instead drowning himself in rum and other libations, so he could try to forget.

Out on the open sea, he was able to say out loud how much it hurt, how much he missed Milah, how much he condemned God for taking her away and leaving him alone once again. Why was he destined to lead a lonely life? Why did everyone leave him? Why was still alive while everyone he loved died?

Out on the open sea, he finally admitted his life wasn't half as bad as his grief has made it seemed. He had friends, a job he loved and a healthy beating heart. He had a future and it was time for him to stop fighting it.

After coming to terms with his realization Killian had sailed his boat back to the docks. The sun had started to set when he approached the marina. From a short distance away he could make out a lone figure standing at his docking port. As he moved around maneuvering his vessel into its space he realize his mind was not playing tricks…

Emma was standing at the docks looking straight at him.

* * *

She had run out of Regina's home with only one thing on her mind… _find Killian Jones._

She drove to Granny's hoping he'd be there, having dinner or a drink. But he wasn't.

She made her way through the back hallway, where they first _met,_ towards the B&B but once she got there her mind drew a blank. No one was around, but Granny Lucas. There were only two feasible options: make up a lie and say that Ruby asked her to pick up something from the second floor and randomly knock on doors or ask the older woman in which room he was staying. The first option will definitely get her arrested. But she wasn't looking forward to the second one either.

Granny Lucas had been like a grandmother to her, one of the people who welcomed her and her son with open arms. She gave her a job and a place to stay, even babysitting whenever she had to go to school. Emma couldn't lie to the older woman and Granny wouldn't take it either, she knew her as if she was her own granddaughter.

"Looking for someone?" The older woman's voice interrupted her thoughts.

Emma looked up at her, eyes wide and lips pressed together. Granny looked at her over the rim of her glasses.

"Have you gone mute the last few days you've been avoiding this place?"

"I haven't been avoiding–"

"Save it! Ever since you had that fight with the handsome Irish, you've stayed away."

"We didn't have a fight. And how would you even know, you weren't there." Emma's voice was defensive.

"Oh honey, I don't have to move from behind this counter to know everything that goes on in and around my buildings."

Emma rolled her eyes at the older woman who calmly went back to the book she was reading. "Have you seen him?"

"Who?" Granny answered without taking her eyes off the page.

"Really?" Emma asked with her hands on her hip. "You are going to make me say it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Granny's tone was supposed to be innocent but it was anything but…

"Have you seen Jones?"

"Jones? Jones?" She knew the older woman was taunting her. "Ahh, yes… Killian Jones, the handsome Irish that's renting room number 4?"

The question was uttered in a very ironic tone. And Emma smiled widely at her, earning a wink from Granny. Emma disappeared up the stairs and straight to the door of room number 4, but after several minutes of knocking she gave up. He wasn't there.

Later her walk down Main Street took her straight to the Rabbit Hole, _maybe he was there drinking himself stupid again._ But he wasn't there either. Her next step was going to the docks.

She walked along the wooden planks looking around for his boat. But when she got to the docking port it was empty. A quick thought passed trough her mind… _what if he left town?_

But it quickly faded, because Regina had said that he was there working for the Mayor's office… _He couldn't leave like that… Could he?_

She felt panic rise from her feet up her spine and settle in her chest.

 _Why panic? He's only a man… Only the first man you've liked in years…_

 _Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe I should just go home…_

Her mind was waging a battle of wills, but her feet refused to move. She stood there looking at the horizon for a while and when she was about to turn back around she saw it… a boat making it's way to port.

* * *

If he closed his eyes, Graham could swear time had stopped and rewind to another time… They were sitting on the floor of his apartment, his dining room still in boxes. Half eaten Chinese food containers lay between them. If he closed his eyes he could pretend to be back in time… But the person that sat beside him was not the same free spirited girl he once knew. The fire that burned hot under her skin, the brightness of her eyes and that secret smile he once imagined it was only for him… They were all gone.

Sure she was not a girl anymore, she had grown into a beautiful woman. He had no doubt that would be the case, but what bothered him most was the underlined sadness he saw when he looked into her hazel eyes. She was still the same spitfire he met when he was a young boy, but she seemed guarded and like she was carrying a huge weight on her shoulders.

He wanted, no… he needed to see her smile again. And not that depreciating smirk she forced on her red lips. He wanted to see the same joyful and passionate woman he knew she was deep down.

He was looking for a way to break the ice and try to pave the way to their old friendship, but he didn't know what possessed him to say out loud the thing that had been plaguing his mind since they've met again. "You smell the same."

The noddle filled chopsticks paused in mid air and she looked up at him with a raised brow. "Excuse me?"

He blushed. "I mean your perfume or maybe is your shampoo." Graham extended his hands towards her and caressed a strand of the silky brown hair bringing it to his nose. She couldn't help closing her eyes at the soft touch. "The perfect mix of sugar and spice."

Quickly she opened her eyes again and found his lips turned up in a half smile. "It's just comforting to know that some things never changed."

She dropped her chopsticks and moved a little away from him. "Nothing's the same. I'm not the same. I already told you. Why can't you understand?" She stood up picking up the rest of her discarded food.

The smile that was still playing on his lips disappeared. His voice is serious and concerned when he stands up and follows her. "Red, why are you acting like this? I can't understand anything if you don't talk to me."

When she turns around he can see the fight in her eyes, the unshed tears and the slight panic. "I can't be the friend you want me to be."

His heart ached at the sight of her and the tremble of her words. "Why the hell not?"

"Because I'm not the same girl you knew 10 years ago…"

"And I'm not the same boy, it's called growing up Red."

"You have no idea." She said her eyes looking everywhere but at him.

"You keep saying that, but don't really explain yourself. What's changed?"

"Everything", was her broken reply.

"Can you please stop being so cryptic and say whatever it is you want to say?"

"Believe me I don't want to say anything."

Graham raked his hands over his hair and expelled a frustrated sigh. "Ok. Then stop being so dramatic and let's go back to eat."

"No." She replied in a very controlled panic. "I- I have to go."

"Don't be silly you've barely finished your dinner. Come on." He moved closer, his hand almost touching her arm. She moved away from him and after a minute walked over to where their abandoned cold dinner was waiting.

He felt his heart unclench and breathed a sigh of relief, before walking after her and sitting down.

"Just for the record Ruby Lucas… I don't care what happened during this past 10 years that has you so scared and closed up. You are my person and I will stand by you no matter what. Forever."

A runaway tear escaped her eyes, but she dried it before he even had the chance to do it. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

"You know me Ruby, it doesn't matter how many years have pass I always keep my promises. And deep down you know, I'm telling you the truth."

She looked down to grab a new set of chopsticks. When she looked back at him there was a teasing smile adorning her lips. "I can't believe you just quoted _Grey's Anathomy_. What did they do to you in the city?"

"Oh you won't believe the horrors!" He said in fake shock. "It's a jungle out there…"

* * *

Killian Jones looked every bit the pirate captain. Her dreams didn't compare… Yes her dreams because the truth is that she's had dreamt about him on his boat sailing her away from everything, pillaging and plundering together on the high seas.

 _Mind out of the gutter Swan,_ she scolded herself.

Placing her hands on the back pockets of her jeans, she watched him moving around deck, grabbing ropes and pulling down the sails. His hair was mussed by the wind and the sleeves of his blue button down shirt were rolled up to his elbows showing his toned arms and strong hands.

Once the boat was properly docked, Emma made her way towards it. He stood tall, his face unreadable.

She spoke without overthinking her approach. "We need to talk."

His face was unreadable, but he agreed with a simple nod.

She walked closer to the boat, but he stopped her. "Uh, uh, uh… you are forgetting something, lass."

She frowned in question. "What?"

"You have to ask permission to come aboard."

"I thought I already did."

"Not properly, you didn't."

She caught the light tone of his voice and the way his lips twitched as he held back a smile. She moved her head from side to side and followed his lead. Placing her right hand as a salute over her forehead she replied. "Permission to come aboard… Captain."

His eyes were bright with mischief as he gave up all pretenses and smiled at her. "Much better. Permission granted."

Emma boarded the ship but as soon as she was on equal footing with him, so close that she could smell the ocean and peppermint on his skin, her ability to speak disappeared.

"Welcome aboard The Jolly Roger."

One of Emma's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Really? The Jolly Roger?"

"Aye."

"A pirate ship. Why doesn't it surprise me?" She says walking around him.

Soon he joins her across the deck as she stands resting her elbows on the railing. Her eyes gazing out at the horizon as the sun starts setting. Killian stands next to her shadowing her position both of them quiet for a while.

"I was only 17 when I fell in love for the first time. He broke my heart, my trust in others and the little self-confidence I had left..." Emma's voice was low and her eyes never left the calmed ocean water.

Once she went silent again, Killian dared to look at her profile. She seemed lost in thought. Not really expecting and answer from him.

"He changed me forever. After him, I became cautious, guarded, vulnerable and broken. But he also gave me the best gift I could've ever gotten… My son Henry."

At her words he turned his eyes to find hers looking at him, so many feelings swirling around the green depths it was hard for him to stay put and not grabbed her in his arms.

"You're a mother." It wasn't a question, but she nodded anyway.

"After he was born I dedicated myself to him. I went to school, got a job and blocked away everything that would take my time and focus away from him."

"Understandable."

"Something happened a few years ago that made me put my life into perspective. I realized that I couldn't spend my life behind figurative and literal walls." Emma turned around to face Killian. "My friends have been nagging me to go on dates for years. But I wasn't ready. It was only a week ago when I decided to give it a try."

His hand was on the railing, near hers and it was itching to get closer and touch hers. "The night we met."

"Yeah."

His stormy blue eyes met hers again. "Why are you telling me all of this, Swan?"

Emma couldn't keep his gaze for long. "Because I needed you to know I wasn't looking for this… whatever this is. I –"

He interrupted her with his hand over hers and she looked up again and found truth. "I'm sorry about the other night. I know it's not an excuse, but I was smashed. I didn't mean to upset you with my diatribe."

"But it wasn't nonsense, was it?" She asked candidly. "Meeting me, our instant connection… it did something to you."

He smirked at her, devilishly. "It did a lot of things darling. Most of them unmentionable at the present time."

She was not amused, but she recognized it as a defense mechanism on his part. "You spoke of a woman…"

"Aye."

He took a step back, distancing himself from her, going into his own world. _Memories,_ she thought. She knew what it felt like to drown on the past. More so if the past was as desolated as she imagined his was. That's why Emma waited patiently at his side.

"I was always quite the lady's man in my youth. I would even say I fancied myself in love once or twice. But nothing… No one like Milah. "

His blue eyes seemed to smile at the memory of her. Emma couldn't help the shiver that ran up her spine, because now she knew how this story ended.

"I had just moved here to the States with a scholarship to the University. The last three years of my life had been difficult. I lost my mother when at15 and then my brother right after turning 18."

She couldn't help but feel her heart ache for him. He had been alone once, as lonely as her. And now he was back there again. She remembered his words from the other night.

" _You know what nothing feels like."_

" _That's pretty much where I live."_

"I got the acceptance letter and just packed up the few things I had. I tired to keep away from people, minding my own business. But God, Faith, Destiny… they had other plans." A sad melancholic laugh escaped his lips. "One day she landed literally at my feet, an angel fallen from heaven to fill my empty and lonely life."

At the lost look of his eyes and his words spoken with so much emotion, all Emma wanted to do was stop him. Put her arms around him and make him stop hurting.

"We were happy. The happiest I'd ever been. I found my Soulmate, and she was the most beautiful woman in the world to me. We got married and bought an apartment in the city… We were planning to have a family, but… One night, everything was taken away from me. The love of my life, my wife… the possibility of a future."

"I'm so sorry."

Her soft-spoken words brought him back, turning his dark blue stormy eyes to her. "It's been three years and I still feel the emptiness, the hurt as if it was yesterday."

Their eyes met and she was sure he could see the unshed tears in her green eyes.

"I wasn't expecting to ever feel something for anybody else after her…"

She was glad that he trailed off, too afraid to know the ending of his sentence.

Both of them where gazing out at the horizon when he asked, "Why did you come here Emma?"

She answered truthfully. "I came to ask you out, on a date."


	8. Chapter 07

**Chapter| 07**

Friday arrives surprisingly quickly.

Jumping out of her bed with the first sound of her alarm, Emma was more than ready to go for her morning run. The fact that she would get to see Killian Jones was just an added bonus. But before she puts her feet on the ground, she remembered that her plans had changed late last night. Her friends had texted her with a plan for an intervention of sorts. They were very worried about Ruby, and so was she. So her daily run, and unintentional _(intentional)_ run in with Killian at the docks had been postponed. They were all meeting early today at the diner looking to get some answers from their friend.

As she walked inside Granny's she was hit with the usual hustle and bustle of the morning rush. People sitting at the counter and picking up their first dose of coffee for the day, others were sitting down enjoying their breakfast. Emma could be coy and say her quick inspection of the place was for one of two reasons: looking for Ruby or seeing if her other best friends had arrived. But the truth is that she was hoping to see Killian before he left for work.

She still couldn't believe that she had sought him out. Even though she had gone to him to ask him questions, she ended up confessing some of her most obscure secrets. For the first time in years, Emma was able to speak freely of her past and some of the reasons that she'd been living behind such high and secluded walls. It was definitely a breakthrough and it was all because of him.

"Emma?"

The voice of her best friend brought her back to the present. "Hey there stranger."

"What are you doing here so early? Aren't you supposed to be on your morning run?"

"I would have been, if not for more pressing matters."

"If you are looking for your Mr. Tall dark and handsome, sorry to disappoint but he was my very first costumer of the day. Black coffee, no sugar and a cream cheese bagel to go."

Emma couldn't suppress her blush at the mention of Killian, but at the race of her friend's perfectly form brow she got a hold of herself. "Nice try, Rubs. You know perfectly well why I'm here."

"Hot cocoa, whipped cream and cinnamon?"

"Miss Lucas, this is an intervention so move your butt from behind the counter." Regina's voice made both Emma and Ruby turn to watch her arrival.

Dropping the cleaning rag on the counter, Ruby couldn't hide the surprise and irritation in her voice. "This ought to be good."

"Good Morning Girls!" The sweet school teacher walked in followed by Granny.

Mary Margaret's bright disposition broke the tension for all of two minutes before Ruby tried to dissuade them again. "I'm in the middle of a very busy morning rush. I don't have time for girl talk."

"Good thing I'm here." The older woman grabbed the rag from Ruby's hand. "Go! Breakfast for all of you will be on the table in few."

"But Granny-"

Ruby's reply was cut short by Regina. "Please bring coffee, lots of coffee!"

It took a while, but soon the four friends were sitting down enjoying their morning coffee and hot cocoa. For a while the conversation was filled with small talk. But there was not much time to waste. So as soon as the eggs, bacon and toast came out from the kitchen, Mary Margaret took the lead.

"We haven't heard from you in a few days, Ruby."

"I'm taking care of business, you know how it is. End of the month, payroll and stuff." She replied without meeting any of them in the eyes.

"You missed dinner on Wednesday." Regina deadpanned.

"And you haven't even call or texted in the last 5 days." Emma added.

"I saw you on Sunday, didn't I?" Ruby answered defensively.

"You did. But you also seemed troubled."

Before Ruby could reply, Mary Margaret placed a hand on her forearm and gave her a sincere and concerned smile. "We don't want you to feel attacked. We just want you to see that we know something is wrong and that we are here for you."

Ruby looks up to her friends and her eyes bright with unshed tears. "You guys are right. I've been hiding, mostly from myself. It all started when…"

* * *

" _I wasn't expecting to ever feel something for anybody else after her…"_

 _He'd trailed off not sure what exactly he was admitting to. Was he falling for her? It was an idea, he wasn't quite comfortable with at the moment. And by the way her knuckles were turning white as she held on to the railing, holding her breath waiting for whatever he was about to say, she wasn't ready to hear it yet either._

 _He was glad they had talked, but there was a question still on his mind. "Why did you come here Emma?"_

 _He was the truth in her eyes and the soft blush of her cheeks when she answered. "I came to ask you out, on a date."_

 _His brow raised in surprise as his head tilted to one side. He was trying to read her, was he hearing correctly, she wanted to go on a date with him? After a minute of questions and doubts, he finally nodded. His lips turned up in a half smile. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you out?"_

" _I should've guessed you were old fashion given your way of talking and European upbringing."_

" _The turmoil and rum has blinded me and I've seem to have forgotten about good form for a while there. But rest assure I'm always a gentleman and as such I should be the one planning our evening out."_

" _Well too bad. I asked first, so I get to plan our evening out as you call it."_

" _Fair enough. You sure are a tough lass."_

" _And don't you forget it."_

For the first time in years, Killian Jones had gone to sleep without a drop of alcohol in his system two days in a row and it was all thanks to his talk with Emma Swan. The idea that this gorgeous and strong woman liked him and was willing to try and open up her walls for a chance at something with him was astounding.

Was he ready to show his wounds, wounds that were still bleeding after the death of his first love? The truth is that he wasn't sure, but still he couldn't stop thinking about the light that she emanated and the feeling of connection between them from the first time their hands touched.

Belle had been right he was plagued with guilt for been alive while Milah was dead. A fleeting thought came to his mind when he saw Emma standing at the docks, waiting for him that day, a thought that maybe she was the reason he had survived or maybe her appearance in his life was just the right step he needed to take to start living again.

Either way, he was more than ready to explore this new road. He was ready to walk out of the shadows, the hurt and ever present nothing he was living in, and in to the bright light and ethereal sunshine that was this woman.

He was not going to over analyze the why's of her appearance. The only thing that matter was that she was in his life and he going to do whatever was in his power to keep her there for as long as she wanted to be.

Killian had stopped for a black coffee and a bagel from Granny's Diner and then made his way towards the docks. He went down to his ship to pick up some papers he needed at the research site, purposely taking longer than was necessary in the hopes that he would run into Emma again while she was out on her morning jog. After the sun was fully out and his coffee long gone, he realized she wasn't coming his way today.

After their talk the other night, they've had another _"casual"_ encounter yesterday morning and he realized that he wouldn't mind starting his days conversing with the beautiful woman. _More so if she was wearing those brightly colored yoga pants,_ he remembered with a smirk. He realized that he shouldn't be greedy, and it was finally Friday after all. Tonight was their date and he was wishing the day to go by as fast as possible.

He was looking forward to a night out for the first time in a long time, and once again it was all because of Emma Swan. They were going on a date, and it was all he could think about as he made his way down the docks and up the rocky hills towards his isolated work place.

* * *

Breakfast was long gone as they listened to Ruby's tale. Everything she had been holding back was now out in the open.

For Emma it was a weight lifted of her shoulders. After Ruby had confessed her story with Graham to her, she'd been weighing the pros and cons of keeping her secret. She was also kicking herself because she'd been too distracted by Killian Jones and the promise of _something_ growing between them, that she hadn't notice how much the situation was troubling her best friend.

"You are an idiot."

"Reggie! Stop attacking Ruby."

The half sisters were as different as night and day, and their bickering was always fascinating to watch. "She wanted us to be honest, I'm being honest Mary Margaret."

"One thing is being honest, being cruel is something completely different." Ruby was looking at them her eyes still moist with tears and devoid of her usual mirth. "I think you should talk to him."

"No! No, no, no, no, no way." Ruby said dropping her empty mug of coffee on the table.

"Rubs listen, M&M is right. I already told you this. If he is so important to you, he deserves to know the truth."

"Wait a minute Miss Swan, he deserves nothing. This is not about him, he left town and went on to live his life. She did the same, end of story."

"The thing is that this story is not over. Is it Ruby?" Emma asked frankly.

"I- "

"Ruby!" A very accented and masculine voice called over Emma's shoulder.

The four friends turn to look at the earnest eyes and huge smile of the new detective in town.

"Graham."

"Sorry to interrupt. I didn't know you actually took time to have breakfast."

"She doesn't, we had to ambush her. Hi, I'm Mary Margaret Blanchard-Nolan."

"David's wife. I've heard a lot about you. Graham Humbert." He said shaking her hand.

"This is my half sister Regina Mills, and that's Emma Swan."

"Mayor Mills, it's an honor to work for your police force, ma'am. And Emma, it's a pleasure to finally put a name to the beautiful face."

He was definitely blushing as he smiled down at Emma, and she could feel Ruby fidgeting uncomfortably next to her at the gesture. The blond merely smiled at him in return.

"What do you want Graham?"

"To have lunch with you."

"Nope, not tod… Ouch!" Emma and Mary Margaret both had the same idea and ended up kicking Ruby at the same time to shut her up.

"Sorry." They said in unison.

The younger brunette huffed in annoyance at her friends and looked back at Graham who was smirking at her awkward behavior.

"What I was saying before being so rudely interrupted is that after this breakfast ambush, I'm already behind in a lot of paperwork. I can't take more time off if I want to finish at a decent hour."

"Is that a decent enough hour to go out for a few drinks with your best mate?"

Ruby looked at her friends as if asking for help, but the three of them ignored her.

"I'll call you later."

"Great! Ladies it was a pleasure to meet you all. Emma, if you are available tonight you're welcome to join us." Regina made an unidentifiable sound that took Graham's eyes away from Emma. "All of you are invited tonight if you are so inclined. I'll guess I'll just leave you to it."

He excused himself and left without another word.

"You are an idiot." Regina deadpan again, all her friends narrowing their eyes at her. "I mean I get why you are being so stubborn. Seeing as the love of your life is making googly eyes at your best friend. But still…"

"Hey!"

"He's not the love of my life!"

Both girls reacted at the same time and then silence filled the table. Emma felt the need to expand on the topic. "I don't think he's making eyes at me at all."

Regina huffed again. "Riiight."

"I'm not interested in him. Not only because of Ruby's feel…" The younger girl looked murderous and Emma knew if she finished that sentence she'd get her ass kicked. So she decided to change topics. "I have a date tonight."

"Yeah, we know."

Mary Margaret's answer surprised Emma. "Wait, how do you know I have a date with Killian?"

"You better not have a date with Mr. Jones."

"Why the hell not Regina?" She said in a huff. Then remembering her plans a small smile spread over her lips. "I asked him out, he loves the ocean and I thought we could go have dinner at the little Italian Bistro in the next town over…"

"Swan. Did you forget that today you have a date, but not with Mr. Jones."

Regina's attitude was grating on her nerves. "Regina, what are you talking about?"

"Operation Marry off a Swan… You have a date with David and Robin's friend, Jefferson."

"Single dad, mysterious and sexy smile… Henry picked him as your second date. He's friends with Jefferson's daughter." Mary Margaret added.

Emma placed her hands over her face in mortification. "Oh my God! I totally forgot about him."

"Who wouldn't, with tall dark and sexy Mr. Jones looking at you with smoldering blue eyes every time you cross his path?" Ruby's answer was not helping.

"What am I going to do?" Emma asked her face red in embarrassment and eyes full of concern.

"Cancel with Jones!"

"Cancel with Jefferson!"

"Go out with them both!"

The answers all came at the same time and Emma dropped her head banging it on the table.

* * *

Killian had a very productive day. Even if he did spaced out a couple of times thinking about alabaster skin, tiny bright freckles and deep emerald green eyes.

He was making stride in his research and even had a few ideas running through his mind for the waterfront park's design.

It was only 5 o'clock when he made his way down Main Street. He had to admit that he was anxious about his date with Emma. It's been over 10 years since his last first date, his last first kiss.

It was impossible not to think about Milah. She hadn't been his first. But she had definitely been his last. He'd never even spared a glance at another woman after her. He had known she would be his one an only. Never he'd imagine that she was going to leave him so soon.

After her death, he'd tried to erased the memory of her dainty fingers on his skin, the feeling of her luscious lips over his own… But he couldn't. On one of his darkest moments, he'd gone as far as to meet with a prostitute. But once inside the motel room, he couldn't go through with it.

Since then no other woman had made him want as much as Emma Swan had done at first sight. And now he was on the verge of taking a chance on her… on them.

As he walked into Game of Thorns, a cheeky name for such a delicate flower shop, he didn't know what had gotten into him. He hadn't bought flowers for a woman in a long time. His mind wondered to the bouquets he used to bring to Milah's resting place every week and wondered if she'd had missed the fresh flowers…

Looking around the place he found himself at a lost. What was even a proper arrangement for a first date? A young woman had asked if he needed help making a decision. Killian blushed as he admitted to be going out on a first date and not having any idea on what to get, maybe roses. The woman, who introduced herself as Nimue, had smiled kindly at him and told him to forgo roses for a more unique gift.

Once Killian got to his room at Granny's B&B he place the exotic flower, a Middlemist the woman had told him it was called, on an empty rum bottle and filled it with water. More than ready to take a long shower, he started unbuttoning his shirt. That's when he heard the soft knock on the door.

Swinging it open, he found a very preoccupied Emma at the other side. A wide smile spread on his lips. "Swan!"

She's never seen that smile on his face before. If she was taken with this brooding, somber and sad eyes… That dimpled hopeful smile was sure to make her fall even harder.

 _Wait what do you mean fall?_ _Was she falling for Killian? Nope is not possible._ _She hardly knows him._

"I have to say I wasn't expecting to see you so early. I had understood that our rendezvous was to take place at 8 o'clock. Not that I'm complaining, but you'll have to excuse my appearance I was about to jump in the shower."

Adverting her gaze when her eyes traveled down the patch of hair on his chest visible by the opened shirt, she cleared her throat. "We have to talk."

The smile disappeared from his face. "When a woman says those words I hardly find myself in for a pleasant conversation. Please come in." He opened the door wider and she moved a few paces inside when he closed the door behind her.

"I can't go out with you." She decided to just spill it, because she couldn't dare look at his face. A fleeting glance confirmed her guess, his face had fallen and his features were beginning to turn cold and distant when he spoke.

"Oh. Well, that wasn't at all what I was expecting from this visit." His hand went to the back of his ear and he scratched a bit, looking down at his feet.

"It's not what you think. Let me explain…"

A small, fake smile made it's way to his lips as he interrupted. "It's okay, lass. I completely understand if you've reconsidered. We didn't start on the right foot. I was a complete git! Nothing more than a wanker with a drinking problem and…"

"Stop it!" She said finally looking him, her embarrassment replaced by a burning fury. "This has nothing to do with you. Yes you were a… how did you put it? A complete git! But if there's someone that can understand feeling empty and being guarded it's me."

Killian nodded and put his arms around his chest. "Then what happened, Swan?"

Emma closed her eyes before looking back at him and giving him her answer. Her mortification was rising up again. "It's not that I don't want to go out with you. It's just that I… Remember what I said about my friends nagging me and pushing me to date?"

"How did you call it? Operation Marry off a Swan?"

"Yes. My kid came up with the name. And between him and my friends they arranged a few blind dates for me. First one was with Regina's dentist Ryan. And today I'm supposed to go out with Jefferson, the single father of one of Henry's friends from school."

"That does present a problem."

"With everything going on between us, it completely slipped my mind. I was reminded this morning of my lapse and it's so last minute that it would be wrong of me to just cancel."

"Very bad form indeed." He'd visibly relax, she guess he believed how bad she actually felt.

"I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize, lass. If I understand correctly your boy was the one who arranged this date. You are a good person Swan and for what I've seen from Jefferson he's a nice bloke, maybe you'll find in him exactly what you need."

"Wait, you know Jefferson?"

"I've met Regina's husband Robin, we bonded over our Irish roots. He invited me to have a drink with his friends… Anyway, I think your decision it's very honorable. I hope you have a nice time tonight."

"Killian, I still want us to go out on our date." Emma said while reaching out to grab Killian's hands.

"You do?" One of his brows shot up in wonder and the shy smile was back.

"Of course I do!" She giggled.

"What if you enjoy your night out tonight?"

"I'm certain that Jefferson is a very nice guy. As much as Henry would've wanted to, Robin and David wouldn't have agreed to set me up with him if he wasn't… But I very much doubt that I'll end up falling for him."

"Why is that?"

"Because there's a devilishly tall dark and handsome Irish that has me swaying in the border of the precipice already."


	9. Chapter 08

**Chapter| 08**

On her way back to her apartment, while she showered, dressed and got ready for her date… Emma couldn't stop thinking about her talk with Killian Jones.

She'd been nervous about their conversation, not knowing how he was going to take her news. He'd been rash and unpredictable before, so she was preparing herself for anything. And then he'd gone and left her speechless once again, opening the door and welcoming her with a brilliant smile. Emma had never seen him smile that way before tonight, and the fact that her mere presence had been the cause of it made her feel proud and giddy with excitement.

She felt something for him. Be that attraction, a connection or something deeper. She couldn't fight the gravitational pull she felt towards him. Killian was like kryptonite to her, lowering her defenses as soon as he was close. So much so, that she had almost revealed that she was falling for him. She hoped he hadn't caught her meaning at all, because she was not ready for the implications of it herself. How could being around a man she hardly knew feel so comfortable, so right?

It has been so long since she's felt that way about a man that she wasn't ready to dwell on the meaning of it, so she had tried to push Killian Jones away from her mind as she parked across the street from the restaurant.

Walking into the Sushi place, Emma starts feeling weary of what she'll find. She knows who Jefferson Grace is, seen him around town, at school PTA meetings and kids birthday parties. Always quiet and alone, just like her. But she was not blind she knew he was good-looking, tall with a nice smile.

 _Nothing compared to Killian… There goes her effort to avoid thinking about Killian Jones!_

After talking to the hostess she realizes that he's not there yet. So she goes ahead and takes a sit on their table.

11 minutes later, a very frazzled but good looking man makes his way in between the tables and almost crashes into her as she stands up to greet him.

"Sorry I'm late, first I couldn't get out of the office and then the babysitter was a no show, had to ask the neighbor to stay with Paige and when I thought I could finally be on my way I realized I had left my lucky hat so I had to go back to get it." He says showing her the very curious looking item.

Emma had to smile at his sheepish expression and pink blush. "It's okay. I understand how it is to have an almost teenage child and try to raise them on your own. It's a miracle Henry has turned out as good as he had."

"That's because he has a an amazing mother… Or so he has told me."

And now she was the one blushing at his words. He held out her chair again and she sat down, feeling herself relax. From then on out their conversation flows easily. One single parenting tale after another…

" _I imagine having a girl, can't be easy."_

" _It's not, but Youtube is my savior! From how to braid her hair to making fairy wings for her Halloween costume. It's hard, but I wouldn't have it any other way." He answers in between bites._

And soon Emma doesn't have to worry about enjoying herself or thinking about the very intriguing Killian Jones, his name never crossing her mind again during the evening.

* * *

Regina Mills was all about family and friends. Growing up with a very demanding mother, losing her dear father and finding herself in the middle of a new household when her mother remarried Leo Blanchard, she'd learn to appreciate the people around her. She was lucky enough to meet her husband Robin Loxley when she was still in college. It was love at first sight. Much like it had happened to her half sister and her Prince Charming. Mary Margaret and David Nolan recognized each other as soul mates way before they even knew what it meant.

Having people over for dinner parties was one of Regina's obsessions. One would think that being the Mayor would put a damper on her social life, but that was far from the truth. Storybrooke was a small town and it was not strange to find her on a picnic at the park, camping near the woods or having lunch with her friends at the local diner.

Today was a night like many others. She was _'babysitting'_ Henry, because Emma was out in one of her dates and her sister and her husband were over for dinner. They had been enjoying the conversation going from one topic to the next. But soon, in between bites of her award winning apple pie, the young teenage boy spoke up.

"How do you think it's going with my mom and Jefferson?"

The adults looked around the table in concern. Emma had done a wonderful job raising a kid on her own while dealing with a life threatening illness. The circle of friends became even tighter as they all banded together to help the young mother with anything her and the boy needed. Soon they were the family the green-eyed survivor never had growing up.

With a caring ruffle of his hair, Regina smiled at the 13 years old boy and tried to appease his mind. "Everything will be fine, Henry. The fact that she even accepted to go out with him is a win in my book, don't you think?"

"Yeah. She wasn't too happy about Operation Marry off a Swan, I was very surprised when she agreed to go on her three dates. But ever since her date with _the Dentist_ she's been acting kind of weird."

Regina turned to her sister and arched her eyebrow in question. Mary Margaret returned her look as if saying _'not now'_ and then addressed Henry with a sweet smile on her face. "It's normal to be scared, she's taking a huge step after a long time of being just the two you. Soon she'll meet her prince charming and live happily ever after… Be it Jefferson or someone else entirely."

Robin took a drink from his wine glass and nodded to the young boy as well. A secret exchange was going on between his wife and sister in law, but that was something he would get answers for later. "It's also not something you should be worrying yourself over. Your mother is a very intelligent woman and she knows what she needs or who she needs in her life."

"You are right. Its just that…I know I was the one to set her up with Jefferson and all but now I'm not so sure I want him to be my stepdad." The young teenage boy said as he kept his eyes on the apple pie crumbles on his plate.

"Why not?" David asks with a knowing smile.

"I though a lot about it. Paige and I have been friends all our lives and it'd be weird to all of the sudden be Page's brother, you know."

Robin can't hold back a small chuckle at the boy's earnest confession. "Let's leave your mother's love life in her hands. I think she's cable to make her own decisions."

Regina's voice is low, but still very clear. "That's debatable after the whole pirate thing."

"Pirate? What pirate?" Henry asks confused at the statement.

"It's nothing Henry. Why don't you take Roland upstairs and help him finish his homework?"

The young boy, that had been happily munching on his desert, groans in disapproval. "What about video games?"

"Both of you have had enough video games for the day. Finish homework, brush your teeth and your dad will read you a story before bed."

"Dad can you read Robin Hood?" He said in a high pitch, excited voice.

"Only if you listen to Henry."

"Promise! Come on Henry!" Roland stands up and is almost out of the dinning room when he remembers his manners and yells his goodbyes. "ByeAuntiEminemAndUncleDave!

All of the adults laugh and shake their heads as Henry follows behind the little munchkin.

Robin waits until the little footsteps disappear up the staircase to speak. "So now that the little ears our gone. Can you two explain what's going on with Emma?"

"And who is this Pirate you are so worried about?" Added David.

Both Regina and Mary Margaret look at each other again. Regina rolls her eyes at them and Mary Margaret takes the lead. "His name is Killian Jones, and he's obviously not a real Pirate."

"Jones? Isn't that the guy that you invited to our Men's night out?"

"Indeed, he's a fellow Irish bloke. Nice enough, quiet and working for you isn't he?" He asks his wife.

"I have a contract with his office. They sent him to start the research on the viability of the water park on the empty plot of land south of the docks."

"How did he and Emma meet? Did you set them up without us knowing?"

"I did no such thing." She answered David's questions indignantly.

"They met the night of the disastrous blind date with Dr. Ryan," Mary Margaret supplied.

"The dentist?" Robin asked.

"Please let's not bring up that mistake again." Regina says following up with a gulp of her wine glass.

"Well it was your pick for her. God only knows why… They have nothing in common. I mean he's a great dentist, but nothing like Emma's type." Mary Margaret argued.

"How could I know what her type is? We've never seen her go on dates before!"

"Well I guess we know now… I mean she's completely gone for Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome."

David was in the middle of a drink and spit out half of it at the description coming from his wife's mouth. "Excuse me!"

"It's okay, babe." The pixie cut brunette said as she ran her hand over his back soothingly.

David looked at her shocked. "No it's not. What does Tall, Dark and Handsome even mean? Do you find him attractive, is that it?"

"And define Emma being and I quote _'completely gone'_." Asked Robin, his brow furrowed in concern.

"Don't get your underwear in a twist boys." Regina said with finality. "As soon as you're done with your overbearing big brothers routine we'll explain what we know."

* * *

He's tried very hard to push her blonde hair and brilliant green eyes from his mind, but it's been no use. After she left earlier in the evening all he could think about was her smile, the nervous energy making her rest her weight from one foot to the other. She was inside his room and Killian feels he's going crazy remembering the little details of their conversation.

After she left to get ready for her date tonight, he'd taken a long cold shower and had settle on his bed with his computer. Finishing a few notes from his work early in the day and getting ready for what he had to do tomorrow before a conference call with his boss. Later he had picked up a book from downstairs, but his mind kept on wondering towards her. Emma Swan had him hypnotized, almost cursed into thinking only about her.

Opening his eyes, he realized it was little over 9:30pm. If their date had taken place tonight, they would be arriving at the restaurant. He would have asked for a bottle of wine and then…

The loud ringing of his phone brought him out of his reverie.

" _Hello? Killian?"_ Came the sweet voice on the other side, before he could even answer properly.

"Isn't the receiver of the phone call the one that should talk first?" He says holding back his smirk at the huffing sound she makes on the other side.

" _Oh whatever… where you waiting to hear someone else?"_

"Who else would be calling at this time in the evening?" He knew exactly what she was not asking him. But he couldn't let the opportunity to play with her for a bit.

" _Don't play innocent. Have you seen Emma? Have you talk to her? Did you ask her out?"_

Letting out a sigh he ran his free hand over his unkempt hair.

" _Is that frustration I detect?"_ He can hear her hesitate for a moment and then she was speaking again. _"Oh, Killian… What did you do?"_

"I swear I didn't do anything." He started, but she stayed quiet. He knew she was waiting for him to go on. "Yes, Belle. I've seen Emma since we last spoke. She actually came looking for me after our ill fated encounter that prompted me, only God knows why, to call you earlier this week."

" _You called me because I'm your best friend, slash, conscience and the only one besides Will that calls your bluff and can tell you off to your face. Oh, and because you love me."_

He couldn't help but to chuckle at her most accurate description. "Touché."

" _Tell me what happened and how did you managed to mess it up, because that is the only reason why you would be sulking into your rum on a Friday night."_

"I already told you I didn't do anything. And for your information I'm not sulking into my rum, it's been a few days since I last consumed any alcohol." He heard a surprise intake of breath, but he went on when she didn't say anything. "But to your point I am as you quite so eloquently put it, sulking into an old battered copy of _Peter Pan_."

" _I'm going to file that information away for another time, though I have to say I'm very happy that you are taking a step away from the bottle. What happened when Emma came to see you? Did she forgive your stupidity?"_

"She did." He couldn't stop the smile that came to his lips as he remembered their conversation that night on the Jolly Roger. "We talked a lot that night. And we sort of admitted we liked each other and wanted to get to know more of the other. She asked me out on a date."

The squeal she gave at the information, made him flinch. _"I'm so happy for you Killian! You don't know how long I've prayed for you to finish grieving and start living again."_

He closed his eyes and nodded. "It hasn't been an easy task, I assure you. I've been battling my fair share of demons since I've meet Emma. But she's been like a beacon of light, shining brightly and I've been like a moth attracted to the flame of her aura even at the expense of getting burned."

Killian could hear Belle sighing at his words and he couldn't avoid the blush that burned his cheeks even if his friend couldn't see him.

" _Oh my God Killian, I've never heard you wax such poetry for a woman before."_

He laughs softly. "I guess she just brings out the best in me."

They go silent for a while both in their own heads. He was thinking about the last time he felt something remotely as real and scary as what Emma made him feel. After the accident he'd been sure that Milah had taken his heart with her to the next life. That after her, he would be cursed into living an empty existence until his own time came. But with Emma, even if he tried to fight it or if everything happened too soon, he had started to feel his heart beat again.

* * *

After dinner, Jefferson and Emma walk down the street towards her car.

"I had a great time today. I'm glad we finally met." He said smiling.

"Even if it wasn't a love match?" She asked.

"Especially because it wasn't." He said with small laugh, his hands playing with his hat as they walked. "I have to confess I'm not ready to be in a serious relationship yet. I want to dedicate myself entirely to Paige."

Emma nods with a smile. "I understand perfectly. I thought the same for the longest time. I think it takes the right person to open your self up to a world of opportunities."

"You sound inspired." Jefferson looks at her sideways, kind of wary of her answer.

She looks at him and giggles. "Not by you. I told you I'm perfectly fine being just friends." Emma moves her eyes from his and a blush tint her cheeks pink. "I've met someone. It's new and complicated… What am I even saying? It's nothing really."

They stop in front of her yellow car and she takes in a big gulp of air. Her hands covering her stomach, exactly where a colony of butterflies seem to have taken to do the cha cha every time she thinks about Killian Jones.

"By your reaction to just talking about it out loud with a stranger… It seems like something."

"I don't even know what _It_ is. What I do know is that it's been over 10 years since I've felt anything like _It._ "

Jefferson laughs and gets closer to her opening his arms and hugging her. "It's going to be okay, Emma. Take a chance, get to know him… you'll figure _It_ out."

She places her arms around him and hugs him back. "I can't believe our date ended with you giving me advice to go after another guy."

Jefferson pulls back and smiles. "Believe me, most people will say I'm mad for not pursuing a gorgeous woman like you."

"You are not mad, you're sweet. Thank you for dinner, I had a great time tonight."

"Me too. How about we plan another date? Completely platonic, take the kids to the theater or the circus?"

"I'd love that."

He grabs her phone and punches in his number. "There you go. Now if things with the mystery man work out, you'll also have a babysitter."

"Or just someone to talk about being a parent to a pre teen." She says rolling her eyes.

"Please don't remind me that my little girl is going to be a teenager." He says feigning panic.

Killian has been avoiding looking out the window for the last two hours and maybe he should've kept away from it longer. But his curiosity got the better of him and that's how he found himself watching Emma walking down the street with her date. Soon they are standing by the car, talking and laughing together. She looks radiant, happy… Maybe he was right, maybe she had found someone who could give her everything she deserves. His eyes go wide and his heart almost beats out of his chest when Jefferson hugs her, he grabs her phone probably to give her his number and then Emma gives him a kiss on the cheek.

Turning around, away from the sight, Killian flings himself on the bed not wanting to ponder on the idea of Emma enjoying the company of another fellow. He's willing his heart to stop beating so fast and his mind to ponder what his feeling at the moment, when he hears the soft knock on the door.

Standing up, he walks to the door with a frown on his face. And there she is… Looking like a goddess in a green dress that makes her eyes shine like emeralds and gold.

"Hi." She says almost out of breath, a smile forming on her red lips.

"Swan." His voice is cold, distant. "No need to come and let me down easy."

"What?"

Emma moves two steps inside and he opens the door wider. Her smile turns into a frown, but she still moves forward into his room. Her step almost falters when she realizes that he's not wearing a shirt only his red flannel pants. He debates on grabbing the white t-shirt from the drawer, but then she's talking again a pretty flush running down her neck and disappearing under the high collar of her dress, her hands grabbing her hand back tightly.

"What happened? I thought everything was okay when we talked earlier?"

* * *

Killian looks up then, his face stoic trying to not betray his frustration. "I saw you with him. I have to say that was a very cozy hug."

"Jefferson walked me back to my car. He was a gentleman, I was just saying good night."

He crosses his arms and nods, trying to look nonchalant. "And the kiss at the end, just another way to say good night, right? I mean he was chivalrous and good-looking, quite the combination, very deserving of a kiss I guess. I'm happy for you."

"You are happy for me?" She deadpans and walks closer to him, mad and determined, closing the door to his room with a push from her elbow. "Do you honestly think I came here to kick you to the curb? What next? Do I tell you I've found someone better? It's not like I've been pining around after you ever since we first met."

And then his brain is scrambling to make sense of everything she's said. His arms fall from his chest, a hand immediately going to scratch the back of his ear as his head falls down in shame.

"You are an idiot, Killian Jones!" She says, using her handbag to hit his arm.

"We didn't exactly start on the right foot." He utters as he dares to look back at her between his long lashes. "Do you blame me for being uncertain?" He finishes with a tilt of his head and a sheepish smile.

"You've managed to sneak into my walls. Dare I say, you started to crack them." Now she's the one looking shy, her voice cracking. "I – I thought it was mutual. I thought that you felt the same."

"Oh Swan you have no idea…" He says in a sigh.

And then he is there, crowding her personal space. One of his hands snakes around her waist and the other cradles her face. All she feels next is his soft lips over hers, his nose bumping against her own. A moan coming from deep inside, lips dancing exploring, tasting… She drops her handbag to the floor so she can run her hands from his naked torso up his chest and into his hair, holding on trying not to fall… Far away her subconscious tells her that it's to late, she's been falling since the first time their hands twined together.

Emma doesn't know how, but soon she finds her back pushed against the door, his hands are sometimes fast in their exploration, sometimes slowing into a delicate caress. Their lips savor each other, an intoxicating taste, and she's sure she can get addicted to it if she lets herself. The kiss seems to go on forever and then she feels his hands run down her sides, exploring her legs under the hem of her dress, grabbing the back of her thighs. Soon she feels him there, pressed to her center…

Wanting, needing… Once she's lost herself in his smell, his touch, his kiss... their lips break apart. Their foreheads touching as both are panting, trying to get air back into their longs.

"What are you doing to me, love?" He says, a desperate whisper as he places a kiss into her hairline.

"The same thing you are doing to me, I hope." Is her breathless answer. Her head moves up her lips finding the pulse point on his neck.

"I – I th-think, as much as it pains me…" His words trail off as he turns his head and their lips find each other for a short chaste peck and then he pushes away again. His eyes closed. "I think that we should stop, before we cross the line of no return."

He's still nestled between her legs, pulsating, alert and his hand is holding her left leg up to his waist. She smiles seductively. "I wouldn't mind crossing that line."

He groans and kisses her again hard and fast, pushing into her showing her exactly what her words are doing to him. But soon he's stepping away from her and dropping her leg. He pulls down the hem of her dress, his fingers finding her heated skin for a short caress before he grabs her hand in his.

"I already told you Swan, I'm a gentleman. So now I'm going to walk you to your car and kiss you goodnight."

She pouts and pulls at their entwine fingers, but he doesn't let them go. She uses her other hand and rakes her fingers on the hairs at his nape. "Are you sure that's what you want?"

He groans again. "You are a bloody vixen!" He kisses her once more and then suddenly pushes away from her grabs her handbag from the floor and moves to open the door.

A loud giggle escapes her bruised lips. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Yeah and what's that?" He asks trying to keep from looking at her lips swollen from his kisses and her eyes dark with desire.

"Unless you want to give Granny, Ruby or anyone else in Storybrooke something to dream about tonight, you better put on a shirt."

 _ **Author's Note:** Sorry it took me so long to update this story. Work and Life made it kind of impossible to dedicate time to this chapter... I hope it didn't turned out too bad... Please leave me a note and tell me what you think!_


	10. Chapter 09

**Notes:** _Hello everyone! I hope you guys are still interested in my little story. I know it's been too long, but real life has been all over the place lately. I want to give my thanks to everyone that's following, saving as favorite and leaving replies. Please keep letting me know what you guys think. I use this stories not only to spread mu_ **Captain Swan Love,** _but also to practice my English... So if you find some spelling and grammar errors and horrors, please feel free to let me know. I'll try to get the next one out sooner, but won't make any promises. Sorry!_ **  
**

* * *

 **Chapter| 09**

Two weeks after their passionate confession, Emma and Killian hadn't been able to go on a date or even spend more than a handful of quiet moments together. Quiet moments that to their disappointment didn't involve the taking out of any clothing or heated skin-to-skin contact.

Real life, her job and his job, her son and her friends had kept them from going out on a real date and since he was such a gentleman it has also kept them from doing more enjoyable activities… Activities she's been deprived of for over 4 years. But it also gave Emma a chance to see a whole new side of Killian Jones.

They've met at the docks very morning after her daily runs and before he had to head to work. Sometimes they've seeing each other at the cliffs where he had set up camp for his research. During those early morning conversations they've gotten to know each other better. Emma opened up about being an orphan, the struggle of being in the care of abusive families and her need to find her parents at a young age. She had told him exactly how it felt to go to bed without dinner and scraping by during the cruel winter months when she had ran away. She skirted around the topic of Henry's father, it being one of those _"too much"_ kind of conversations. They've made an unspoken agreement to keep things light… for now.

Killian had reciprocated, telling her about his beginnings in a small town in the coast of Ireland. His love for the sea had started there, when he was just a young boy going out with his mother and older brother to play on the sand and later as his father, a fisherman, would take them all out on his old boat. He'd told her about his love for music and all things guitars. He'd reluctantly had confessed that he used to be on a band while still in high school. She'd learned that he loved to cook and that he was a neat freak, wanting everything in his home to be organized and clean.

They had started exchanging texts and late night calls, sometimes sweet and wholesome and others… Well, there were times full of heat and passion in their words. There had been a few kisses too, sweet comforting kisses when the other was feeling overwhelmed by memories. But there were some bursting with that electric pull that made them combust every time their lips melded together. Emma was happily enjoying the free fall into that elusive feeling… A feeling she had sworn off long ago…

It was something like love.

And it scared the bejesus out of her.

A month ago she would have rather climb a beanstalk and fight a giant, or slay a dragon with a sword like the princesses and pirates of Henry's books, before she admitted to wanting a man in her life. She'd been so used to doing things on her own, caring and providing for Henry that the fact that she _was_ feeling lonely seemed like a weakness. But then Killian Jones came waltzing into her life: half-pirate/ half-charming gentleman and turned her life upside down.

Emma shook her head as she pushed opened the door to Granny's with a small smile lingering on her lips as she walked to the counter, a voice breaking her from her reverie.

"That's a rare sight to behold."

She'd been so spaced out that she didn't see Robin, her good friend and doctor sitting on a stool drinking coffee. Her smile turns into a mock frown as she stops and takes a sit in the empty place besides him.

"You saw me yesterday, Robin. I was the one picking up the sulking teenager from your house, remember?"

"I meant the dreamy smile on your face."

"I don't do dreamy anything." The younger woman deadpans.

"Oh you certainly do. What else would you call that thousand watt smile, that almost blinded me with its brilliance?"

"You are so dramatic." She says with a laugh, a soft secretive smile lingering as she turns to ask the waitress for a coffee to go.

"And there it is again."

"Is it wrong of me to be happy?"

"Not at all. I'm actually glad you are finally letting yourself be."

"Humm… What has Regina been telling you?" She asks suspiciously.

"That you are seeing a certain Irishman—"

Putting her hands on her face. "Argh not you too. Please spare me the older brother figure _talk._ David has already started."

"I'm not going to give you _the talk_ , as you put it."

"It took me a while to be true to myself and open up again. But now I think I'm ready to take a leap of faith."

"A month ago I was the one telling you that you needed to open up to the idea of meeting someone new, of breaking down those walls and not being afraid to love again–"

"Oh, oh. I hear a _but_ coming…"

"No buts." He said downing the last of his coffee.

Emma eyed him carefully. There was definitely a _"but"_ in there somewhere…

"I've known you for over 10 years and you've never skidded around a topic. So, come out with it Locksley."

The older man turned towards her a worried but kind look on his face. "I've held your heart in my hands Emma. Literally."

Her eyes find his as she interrupts. "You gave me a new one."

"Yeah, I searched high and low to find you a new one, because your heart had been battered and broken way too early in your life. So, I guess I'm just worried that you are jumping _heart_ first into something that could potentially hurt you in the end."

Her eyes are shining with unshed tears now. "I don't know what–"

"Don't get me wrong, Emma. I've met Killian Jones he seems like a decent guy, if not a bit of a recluse and maybe even harboring a secret or two. I also know he's here for a job and he'll probably go back to the city once that's done. I just want you to have your eyes open, and think about all the possibilities."

Emma uses the tip of her fingers to stop two stubborn tears from falling and placed her fake smile on her lips. "Thank you for your concern Robin, but I have everything under control. No need to worry about me."

"You are family, Emma. I will always worry." He places a kiss on top of her head as he walks out of the diner.

All the while Emma's eyes close as two new tears fall from her lashes… She'd just lied to one of her best friends.

Because the truth is that she's knee deep in feelings for a guy who'll probably end up breaking her heart.

* * *

Killian smiled at the sight of Belle running into the Coffee Shoppe, their usual hang out when they needed to get out of the office and take a breather. Her auburn hair was pulled back in a nice up do, she was dressed elegantly in bold colors and her feet were encased in four-inch deathtraps. He stands up to greet and she jumps into his arms in a bear hug, eliciting a loud chuckle from him. When they break apart and sit down she's still smiling.

"I'm so happy to see you!" She says still holding his hands.

"It's great to see you too. I ordered our usual."

"Always so chivalrous… So tell me, what brings you to the city?"

The smile that was lingering on his lips vanishes. "I had a few personal matters to attend to."

She raised her perfectly arched eyebrows at his statement. "What matters are those that you couldn't ask me to take care of them for you?"

His voice comes out agitated and nervous. "As I said, they are personal. And that's how they shall remain."

Before she can answer, a waitress interrupts them with their drinks. They take a few sips in silence before Belle speaks again.

"How are things in Storybrooke?"

"Everything is fine. The research is coming along. I sent you the stats two days ago. I'll probably have to circumnavigate the area next week to get a new read of the coast."

Belle hums, her eyes narrowing at his answer. "What are you not telling me Killian? I can't help you if you don't tell me what's the matter."

He lets out a long shaky breath and looks up, meeting her eyes. "I have no idea how everything got this messed up. I was not looking for this, I didn't want it."

Belle's lips turn down in concern. "By _this_ , I'm guessing you mean whatever is between you and Emma Swan."

"Aye."

She knows he's waiting for her to ask a question, to probe him, to make him speak out loud about whatever had brought him back to the city… About what it is he's running away from, but she doesn't. And then seconds turn to minutes, full of an over bearing and tense silence. They keep on drinking their coffees and looking everywhere but at each other.

And then he breaks the silence. "Circumstances have prevented us from going on a date."

"Circumstances, meaning your fears?"

He looks at her then, eyes narrowed into slits and his head tilted to the side.

"If you want to talk about this with me, don't expect me to cuddle you and skirt around the subject. You know I always speak my mind."

He nods. "As you well know, the job in Storybrooke is textbook. It's not going to take as long as we first anticipated. I'm making quick strides and at this pace I'll be done in a couple of months. Then what?"

"Killian, is only a date why are you worried about the long haul?"

"If I answer that question… you're going to think I'm crazy, Belle."

She rolls her eyes at him. "I've known you for over five years, I've seen you at your best and your worst… Believe me it doesn't take much for me to think that."

"I don't see Emma as a conquest."

The light smile starts to vanish from her face. "What does that mean exactly?"

"I don't know how, but she's made me feel something again."

"Are you saying you've fallen in l–"

"I don't know." He says before she can finish her statement.

"Okay." She says letting out a loud exhale. "Killian I'm worried that all of this is happening too fast. You've known her only for two weeks."

He draws his expressive eyebrows into a frown. "Weren't you the one telling me to take a chance, to start living again?"

"Well yes. But I've never seen you like this before."

"That's because I don't think I've ever felt like this… not since Milah came into my life."

The breath is knocked out of her by his statement. "That's huge, Killian."

"Yeah, tell me about it." He says in a sad and scared half laugh. "With Emma I feel light for the first time in forever. Like the vice grip my heart has been in for 3 years it's gone."

Belle's eyes are shining with unshed tears at her friend's declaration, but he's too lost in thought to notice.

"Her eyes are so green, they remind me of Milah's… They give me hope for the future. That first time I grabbed Emma's hand in mine, when our eyes met they were like a beacon in the middle of the night. As we started to run into each other, with each conversation she started to distance herself from the memory of Milah. They're as different as can be, but the truth is that they're also a lot alike. The fire inside, their loyalty and strength…"

His best friend had taken control of her emotions, before she spoke. "Are you sure you are not confusing memory with emotion?"

At her words, Killian's hands went to his face. "Since the very first time I met her, Emma has taken over my every last thought. I've been trying to conjure up Milah's face in my mind, to remember her at my side, but now her face just turn into Emma's. And the truth is I'm scared. Because for the first time in three years I can see my life, my future without her in it."

The tears that were dancing around Belle's eyes fall then, not only at his declaration, but also at its most profound meaning. Her best friend was finally moving on. Her hands pull his to the middle of the table and his eyebrow rises in question.

"Why are you crying? Isn't this supposed to be a good thing?"

"It is Killian. I've been wanting to hear those words come out of your mouth for a long time."

"But…"

"I just want you to be careful. Don't jump into something so quickly. A month ago you were still broken remembering Milah's passing three years ago– "

"Would it sound overtly romantic or idealistic of me to think maybe Milah had something to do with Emma coming into my life?"

"Why would you say that?"

Killian stays quiet for a minute, his azure eyes looking to the distance in remembrance of another time. Soon he shakes his head with a half smile at his best friend.

"I don't know… I think I'm going mad."

"No." Belle replies with a genuine smile of her own. "You are simply a man on his way to falling in love."

* * *

It was Emma's turn to host the weekly dinner with her friends. That's why they were all sitting around her living room, two pizza boxes and three half empty bottles of wine laying on the coffee table. She was sitting on the floor, Mary Margaret and Regina where each taking a corner of the sofa and Ruby was lounging across the armchair.

"I've decided to run for a second turn as Mayor."

"That's so not a secret 'Gina." Ruby said as she finished the last of her drink.

"Yeah, Sis. We all knew you'd be running at least twice. You've been the best Mayor this town has ever had." Mary Margaret said and quickly amended, "And I say that honestly, not just because you're my half sister and I love you."

"How about you, Lil' Sis? What's your biggest secret?" Regina said reaching for another slice of pizza.

Mary Margaret's smile disappeared from her lips as she sat straight and reached for one of the bottles of wine. Instead of refilling her glass she took a drink directly from the bottle. All three friends shared a concerned look.

"Mary Margaret… What's wrong?" Emma was the first one to react.

"David and I – We've been trying to have another baby." The last part of her confession was whispered right before she had another gulp of wine from the bottle still in her hands.

The reactions came all at the same time.

"That's great M&M!" Yelled a gleeful Ruby.

"What?" A surprised Regina said as a piece of peperoni fell of the half eaten slice still dangling from her manicured fingers.

"What do you mean another?" Emma asked in disbelieve.

Tears started to fall from her bright green eyes and Regina's hand went to her in silent support.

"It's something I never told anyone…" She trailed off and took one last drink from the bottle of wine. Emma took the empty bottle from her trembling hands, a sad and confused look still on her face.

"When David and I started dating in high school, I got pregnant."

Silence.

"I was only 16 years old, the stress and fear… I think it was too much and I miscarried before I even started to show."

A loud banging sound filled the quiet as Ruby's boots dropped to the floor, when she sat straight on her chair. "How come I never knew about this?" The haze of the alcohol was gone from her face.

"You were two years behind us, and we were not close in high school, Ruby. Besides Regina and David are the only ones that knew about it. My dad and David's mom too but they are gone now."

Emma was listening silently, a lot of questions running through her head. But the anguish in the older woman's voice was too much. She wasn't going to make her re-live the ordeal further than she had to. So she watched as her friend took deep cleansing breaths and ran her fingers under her eyes to dry the reminder of her tears, and a small smile started to appear.

"So that's my secret… David and I want to be parents and we decided to start our family."

Ruby, who was openly crying by now jumped from her sit and hugged Mary Margaret tightly in her arms as she pushed her to the middle of the couch and sat on the arm closest to Emma. "Oh my God! I'm going to be an aunt again!"

A giggle escaped from Mary Margaret as she laid her head on the younger woman's shoulder. "Not yet. I mean we are still trying… It's been hard. But we have hope that soon we'll have a child of our own."

"You are great with kids. Kind and patient… You'll be an amazing mom!" Emma said.

"I can see it now, a little girl with your eyes and David's coloring. My nice will be a beautiful princess." Regina gushed with a huge smile.

"Hey, maybe it'll be a boy." Ruby said with a raced brow. "With M&M's coloring and David's chiseled chin." The comment made all of them laugh out loud.

"So how about you Wolf Girl?" Mary Margaret asked sitting up right and poking Ruby on her ribs.

"What about me?"

"Yeah don't play dumb. It's your turn to tell us a secret." Regina said as she licked the last of the pizza sauce from her fingers and cleaned them with a napkin.

"Nah ah… We're going in the order we were sitting, it's Emma's turn."

"You moved sits. Now it's your turn." Regina replied dryly.

"Argh I hate all of you and your dumb ass games!" She pouts and crossed her arms over her chest.

"It was your idea." Emma replied, satisfied that she was making the brunette squirm.

"I don't keep secrets. What do you want me to tell you guys?"

"Don't keep secrets? How about the fact that you've been seen leaving Detective Graham's new apartment very late at night a few times?"

At Regina's words, Ruby sighed and closed her eyes in defeat.

"That's not a secret. You guys were the ones that told me to be nice to him. We've had dinner, watched movies…"

"Talked about your feelings and told him he's the love of your life?" Mary Margaret added in a hopeful tone.

"No!" Ruby said in huff. She grabs the last bottle and empties it in her glass. After a drink she gasps and talks directly to Emma. "Remind me to never offer up any ideas for entertainment for this dinners ever again."

Emma rolls her eyes and smiles, but keeps quiet.

"Graham Humbert and I are friends, first and foremost. I've talked to him, very briefly, about why I was guarded when he waltz back into my life. He knows that my stay in the city was not the best time of my life."

"So you told him about prison?" Emma asked in surprised.

"Hell no! I don't think I'll ever be ready to tell him any of that. Not about the prostitution, the substance abuse or prison. He'll never forgive me if he ever finds out." She finishes as she downs the rest of the wine in one big gulp.

"Hanging out with him I've realized I don't like him like that anymore. I'm not going to jeopardize what we have by telling him about feelings that are long forgotten."

"Ruby." Mary Margaret said sadly.

"Look I know you believe in all that crap about Soulmates and Happy Ever After, M&M… But the truth is that Graham and I are just friends. It was a fluke that he came back and I wasn't ready to see him again so I got confused. I am not in love with him. And to prove it I want him to be Emma's third date."

"Wait what?" Emma said her eyes big and her mouth hanging open.

* * *

It was a beautiful day in the city, the rays of sunlight illuminating Milah's final resting place between the branches of the tall oak tree not far away. It was kind of surreal for Killian, being back only a short few weeks after saying goodbye, but feeling more at peace than he's had since her passing.

 _ **Milah Jones  
My Dream… My Life… My Love…  
Gone to soon from this life – Always and forever in my heart.**_

Kneeling in front of the dark marble headstone he ran his fingers over the carving of the letters in venerable softness. As always his heart started to beat wildly inside his chest as he read his final goodbye to the woman that was his everything.

"I was supposed to know how to deal with loss. Everyone I ever loved was gone before I met you… But you, you were supposed to be my forever… And then the unthinkable happened." A lone tear started to fall wetting his long eyelashes as he tried to blink them away.

"I miss you so much Milah… Sometimes it feels like someone cut off my hand and I can still feel my fingers… What's what they call it? Phantom pain? Aye…and it's because even though you are gone, you were still everywhere like a ghost haunting me – sleep or awake, in my dreams or in the middle of the street, on my ship… There was no running away from it."

He swallows trying to ease the knot in his throat, but it's in vain. Killian can't stop the feeling of betrayal that has settled in his stomach. "I tried to find solace in the bottom of a bottle of rum – of many bottles actually – your loss was a constant ache I couldn't alleviate. But then… Then the unthinkable happened…"

Like a vision, the image of Emma appears in his mind… Flaxen tresses, velvet soft skin and and big jade green eyes full of live and promise. "I wasn't looking for her, but then without warning and like a whirlwind she just blasted past my barriers and into my life." The wind started to pick up and the blue sky was turning gray, but Killian was lost inside his head.

Blinking back to the present he speaks again. "I'm sure you know exactly why I'm here. There was never a moment you couldn't read me… I'm so scared of the meaning of this sensations growing inside me." He exhales and looks up to the sky and then down to the headstone. "Give me a sign that this is the right thing to do. That I should give it a go, that it's okay for me to feel things for someone that it's not you."

Killian sits back on his haunches and waits, for what he doesn't really know… A sign, a memory, an answer… But the only thing that comes is the cold raindrops falling from the now gray sky. And all he sees behind his closed eyes is the light in Emma's eyes and the peace always feels when he's thinking of her.

Opening his eyes Killian brings a long-stem red rose to his lips and drops it on the headstone… Milah was gone and nothing could ever bring her back. It was time for him to let her rest in peace and take a chance on something.

* * *

"Are you crazy?" Emma was livid at Ruby's declaration.

"Why? Because I think you and Graham could be good together? All of you have said what a great catch he is… A nice, decent guy. Caring and hard worker… He's tall, he has an accent, which we now know it's your thing… And he's definitely not bad to look at." To her credit, Ruby finishes her sentence without flinching.

"I can't even begin to explain the many levels of wrong in everything you've just said." Regina says in disgust.

"What is so wrong about wanting my two best friends to be happy?" She turns back towards Emma. "I totally think you guys can be happy together."

Emma stands up from the floor and stats picking up the remains of their dinner and the empty bottles of wine. Her face devoid of any expression, a real sign that she was fuming. They all keep quiet as she goes to the kitchen and drops everything on the trashcan. She empties her lungs on a loud exhale and she brings her hands to her hair as she turns around. Silent fury is burning in her eyes as she gets closer to her friends. She was the personification of her last name, a swan ready to strike.

The Blanchard-Mills sisters sit up straight and prepare for the strike.

"I'm going to make this clear, and I will only say it once. I'm not going out with Graham Humbert. Not now, not ever." Her voice was low and filled with simmering rage. "I have no idea what the hell has gotten into you. First you almost bite my head off when he flirted with me that night at the bar, then you encourage me to go for Killian, you actually admit you are in love with Graham and now all of the sudden you want to sic him on me? What the hell Ruby?"

"I'm not in love with him." Ruby didn't even blink at her blatant lie. "But if you don't want to go out him, it's totally fine. It was just a suggestion."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Emma takes a few calming breaths. "Don't even think about it, Lucas. You are not getting out of this so easily."

Ruby looked up eyes finally conveying some emotion, filled with un-shed tears and sorrow. Her voice was masking a slight tremble. "I was just trying to do something nice for my friends. Can we just forget that we had this conversation, please?"

Regina raised a brow and with a slight move of her head decided to change the subject. "So Emma, I'm going to guess that your adamant rejection of this magnanimous offer has something to do with the _other_ handsome foreigner roaming our town."

The mention of Killian was all it took for the tension and anger to leave Emma's body. "You guys know that I've been trying to go on a date with Killian for almost two weeks now... But real life has been getting in our way."

Mary Margaret regards Emma carefully. "Are you sure about this? Starting something with a man you hardly know, after being guarded and closed up for so long?"

Emma sits down in the armchair that Ruby had vacated earlier with her hands up in the air and an incredulous look in her eyes. "Is this for real? You… All of you were the ones that first started nagging me to get out there, then started that stupid _marry of a swan campaign_ , and once Killian came into the picture actually pushed me to _talk to the tall dark and handsome stranger_ … So now that I'm actually opening up to someone, there's an all around objection?"

"It's not an objection, per se."

"Well then explain it to me Mary Margaret, 'cause for the life of me I can't seem to get it right."

"What my sister is trying to say Emma, is that we are scared you are jumping the gun with Mr. Jones. We get it, for some reason unbeknownst to me… you find him attractive, alluring, intriguing. But the fact is, sooner rather than later he's leaving Storybrook."

"I totally get why you like, that man is sex on legs… But maybe he's not the right guy for you to… you know, get back in the saddle with."

"Ruby, things are not like that with Killian at all."

"Then what's it like, honey."

Mary Margaret's sweet, motherly tone made Emma relax once again. Whenever the conversation veered towards her and Killian she felt attacked, as if she was being judge by everyone.

"We are kindred spirits." Regina lets out a un-lady like snort. Rolling her eyes, Emma decides to ignore the older woman. "You where the ones saying I deserved someone to be happy with."

"And you actually think that this stranger is what? The love of your life. After a month, of which he spent the first few weeks drunk."

"He's not a stranger anymore, Regina."

"So I gather that you've asked him about his dead wife?"

"No, of course not. I can't. I know it's difficult for him, we're trying to give each other time. Whatever happened to her it left him broken. Killian was not ready for this, _for us,_ to happen and I was just starting to feel comfortable with the idea when we met. So, we are taking it slow…"

"Does that mean you are not telling him about your surgery either?" Mary Margaret asked some of the worry easing away.

"Not for now, I don't want him to treat me differently–"

It was Ruby who interrupted her then. "But sooner or later he'll see it. Because you are not going to tell me that you're not dying to have a piece of that Irish Hunk."

A blush started to build from Emma's neck all the way up to the root of her hair. Thinking about their kisses, his strong hands caressing her… his scent. It made Emma's inside boil with need.

"It's not like I want to keep it a secret forever. I don't think it'll be that long actually."

"I knew it!" Ruby yelled in triumph.

"We've only kissed, a few times. But each and every time it's been explosive." Her eyes gloss over with memories of sweet soft kisses, and heated bodies entangled against a door. Her face grows impossibly red now, and her lips break out into a wide smile. "There's passion for definite."

"You go get it girl. It's been way to long." Emma giggles at Ruby's words.

"Just promise us you'll be careful Emma, your heart has been through a lot and – "

"And it didn't survive. But this new one, has somehow made me stronger and more open… I 'll be all right. You guys don't have to worry about me."


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter| 10**

It was comforting and strange at the same time, to be back in his home and sitting at his desk over looking the bustling city bellow. Killian had spent most of the last three years drinking rum straight from the bottle trying to drown the ghosts that hovered and haunted every inch of his abode. He'd struggled with the demons and the memories that awaited him whenever he closed his eyes and tried to doze off into slumber. At one point he'd rather stay awake for days at a time, other times he fell unconscious after one too many drinks… Every time he'd seen the horizon turning from dark blue into soft grayish and later yellow oranges he's cringe at the realization that time was still running, that life was going on without Milah.

But not this time… This time the soft yellow rays of light that announced a new day dawning symbolized a new outlook – a new life for him. A grand beginning and welcome back from the higher powers.

He'd been up most of the night, not fighting with his past but making peace with it.

After packing away most of Milah's keepsakes and photographs, he decided to write a letter to the person that had received her heart after her passing. It was the last thing he needed to do so he could put everything behind him and let her rest in peace.

 _Ps: I send you a picture of Milah and I's wedding day. I hope this serves as inspiration to you, to see our happiness… She used to say that those who don't fight for what they want deserve what they get... And now that you have her heart, you deserve to know this kind of happiness too._

He finished the letter, folded the paper and placed it along with a small copy of his wedding picture inside the envelope. He exhaled and sat back then, waiting for the vice grip of grief in his heart or the need to numb himself with alcohol to arise. But none of it came. He was finally at peace and a small smile draw itself on his lips as he grabbed his phone and started writing a message.

* * *

Emma had forgone her early morning run for a nice quiet breakfast with Henry at their house. She was in the middle of flipping a pancake when the loud chirping of her phone brought her attention away from the hot stove.

 _ **Good morning, love**_

 _ **My trip to the city took less time than I had wagered and I'll be back in Storybrook early this evening…**_

 _ **Care to join me for dinner?**_

Her smile was instant as she read the messages. It's not as if Killian hadn't texted her before, but he was actually asking her out… by text message. She couldn't help but feel her heart beating fast inside her chest and the blush start to rise in her cheeks. They've been postponing this for days, and she was not going to make it easy for him.

 _ **Are you really asking me out on a date via text message?**_

She dropped her phone and was about to turn back to the stove, but his answer was immediate.

 _ **I'm sorry about the lack of romanticism on my part love**_

 _ **But I'm just anxious to have you all to myself**_

 _ **I've missed you**_

His missed her… She had to contain a giggle as she read his words. God she'd missed him too. Of course she was going to go on a date with him!

 _ **You are forgiven for the un-gentlemanly behavior… I've missed you too.**_

The three little dots appeared as soon as she hit send.

 **Are you accepting my invitation then?**

"Of course I am!" Emma said out loud as she typed her answer. Soon he was responding.

 _ **Great. I'll pick you up at 7.**_

She sighed contently as she sent him her address and he bid her goodbye. A minute later she turned around to find smoke and fire coming out the pan that now contained the burnt remains of what used to be breakfast inside.

"Oh my God!" She shrieked as she placed a lid over it and turned off the flame.

Emma found a rag and opened the facet to drench it and used it to grab the scalding pan and threw it inside the sink, letting the cold water run over it. Only then did she realize that the fire alarm was blearing and her son was pushing a chair in its direction. Once the loud beeping was quieted and the smoke started to clear she found her son's frowning face.

"I'm sorry about breakfast kid."

Henry jumped down the chair and moved it back to the dining room in silence and avoiding her eyes.

"The kitchen fire-starter strikes again." She tried to joke but she was greeted by a not-so-amused teenage face.

"I know I promised a quiet breakfast at home but we still have time to get to Granny's. I can text Ruby and she'll have our order ready when we get there."

Nothing.

She put her hands on her waist and stared down at her son. "What's wrong Henry? It's not the first time I've burnt something while cooking, what's with the face?"

"You want to know what's wrong? I could smell the smoke all the way to my bed upstairs. I was calling you – yelling your name – and you weren't answering. I came rushing down and you were just standing there looking at your phone like a crazy person."

"Hey! Watch the language kid." She said moving closer to him, that's when she noticed he was trying to hide his trembling hands.

Henry had been raced by adults, his mannerisms, his intelligence and even his language were that of a much more mature person… But at the end of the day he was just a 13 year old kid. So she took a step closer and grabbed his hand.

"I'm sorry Henry. It was very irresponsible of me to not pay attention and to make you scared."

He rolled his eyes at her words, trying very hard to hide his emotional state, but then his voice cracked a little. "I- I wasn't scared."

"Okay. If you say so." She said moving around to start cleaning up the kitchen.

When she grabbed a dishrag she turned around and found his dark chocolate eyes with hers. "But if you are ever scared by anything, you can tell me. I am your mother and I will never let anything bad happen to you. You know that right?"

"I know you'll always take care of me mom. But what about you?" He asked sincerely.

"What about me?"

"Who's gonna take care of you?"

A warm fuzzy feeling started at the pit of her stomach. The hot burning love she felt for her boy – _her son, a piece of her own soul_ – filled her whole body. "As long as you are safe Henry, that's all that matters to me. Nothing is going to happen to me, I promise."

"We'll I – "

The ding of an incoming text from her phone interrupted Henry's statement. She jumped a little and looked down at the device. Her son looked at her whole body react to the small sound, the anticipation and overall excitement that she was so obviously trying to contain.

Emma bit her lip and grabbed the phone, trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing. When her thumb slid across the screen the brightness of her eyes dimmed.

"Look at that, the Lucas Ladies are summoning our presence at Granny's for brunch." She drops the phone and gives a half smile to her son. "Saved by the _ding_."

Henry frowns at her.

"What now?" She asks baffled.

"Are you and Jefferson dating?"

Emma doesn't know what she expected him to say, but that was certainly not it. "What makes you think I'm dating Jefferson… Or anyone for that matter?"

"For one you're always evading my questions. Like with your dates and the progress of _Operation Marry Off a Swan…_ And after your date with Jefferson you've had this look in your eyes – like you are glowing… And then there's the texts and secret calls late at night, you've been getting a lot of them lately and they make you smile and you get all distracted and let the kitchen get caught on fire."

Yikes! Was she being so obvious? With a defeated sigh she walks around the kitchen island and sits down at the breakfast bar, signaling for him to do the same.

"You are right. Things have changed since my date with Jefferson – " She was cut off by a loud groan. So she was quick to correct him. "But it's not what you think Henry. I'm not dating Jefferson. I haven't lied to you, he and I decided to be just friends. But I have kept something from you, not because I didn't want to tell you… I just didn't even know what was going on at first. It all caught me by surprise."

"Oh my God! Are you dating Ryan the dentist? But I thought…"

"Eww! Henry, no!" The tension left her body as they both shared a long laugh.

"I met someone. He actually was the one who helped me escape from my date with Ryan. At the beginning there were some things we had to work trough but, we've been talking and he's actually asked me out on a date tonight."

"Is it Graham, uncle David's new deputy?" He asked in excitement.

What was it with people thinking he was a good choice for her? She wasn't blind she knew he was good looking, but he was so not her type.

"No it's not Graham. His name is Killian Jones, he's an engineer and has been working on the research and development of the seaside park Regina wants to build down by the cliffs."

Henry was quiet for a minute and then the questions came all at once. "So you like this guy? Where did he come from? Are you guys together? Like for real? How come you haven't introduced us yet?"

"Hey, hey take a breath and slow down. Killian and I…We've been taking it slow. He's from the city and he came here for work just for a few months. And we are taking it slow."

"So I'm going to meet him tonight?"

She smiled at him. "Yes."

"Good, I want to know what are his intentions towards you."

"You've been spending too much time with Robin and David kid." She said as she moved closer and ruffled his hair.

* * *

The morning rush was almost over, which meant that if her best friend and surrogate nephew showed up she might be able to steal a little time from the paper work waiting for her in her office to join them for brunch… Because she needed to fix the mess she made with Emma during their latest girl's night in, she just didn't even know how to do it without betraying her other best friend.

Ruby knew the moment Graham came waltzing back into town that he was going to wreak havoc in the her normal, steady _(and boring!) –_ a little voice in the back of her mind whispered _–_ life she had built for herself. But how could she do it when old buried feelings came back to life the minute he flashed that sweet smile at her? When he was all cuddly and warm and everything she ever wanted him to be towards her…

 _Except he was gone for your best friend, not you! – That was not in the plan._

There was no plan.

Since coming back home after her stint in jail, Ruby had worked hard to rebuild her life. She had stumbled at the beginning, but she had made it. And Graham wasn't a deciding factor in it.

 _Liar, liar pants on fire!_

"Arrgh!" She said dropping the last of the dirty dishes on a plastic bin.

"Are you okay, Ruby?"

She shook her head and exhaled loudly and then turned to look at one of her waitresses. "Everything's okay."

 _No it's not._

And her bitchy inner voice was right. Nothing was okay… Because she had buried her feelings long ago and now he was back and acting like the best fucking friend he'd always been with her, but totally and completely head over heels in lust with Emma Swan.

She had twisted herself into a pretzel trying to avoid the un-avoidable.

When everything else failed – _read: trying to run, push him away and deny her feelings_ – she'd been riled back in.

He'd asked her to put in a good word for him with her best friend, going against her better judgment she'd done it and as soon as the words were out and she'd looked up at Emma she knew it'd backfired.

Ruby had damaged a relationship with the only person in the world – besides her Granny – that had seen the worst parts of her and still accepted her… ugly scars, demons and all.

She was going to fix it. And she was going to tell him that from now on she was done being his _stupid cupid…_ If he wanted to get on Emma Swan's good graces he was going to have to do it on his own.

The wind chime at the top of the door signaled the arrival of a new patron and she looked up waiting to see a big brown eyes teenager and his mother, but she found expectant blue gray eyes instead.

Ruby Lucas was trying to adult here… Can't the Big Guy upstairs give her break?

"Red… Just the woman I wanted to see."

"I doubt that", she mumbled.

"What was that?" He said as he took a seat in front of her.

"Didn't expect you here today", she said while she filled a cup with steaming hot coffee for him praying he didn't see her lame attempt at a smile.

But he didn't, because his eyes weren't on her. Instead he was searching the diner clearly looking for any signs of Emma.

"Just wanted to see how my best girl was doing", he said with a half smile after a minute.

"Couldn't you just text or something?"

"The truth is I've been waiting for you to contact me for two days. Since I haven't heard anything from you or _her_ … I thought I'd drop by, see if you had a chance to talk to her."

"I did."

His eyes found hers shining bright and full of hope. Ruby felt like a bully who was about to kick her puppy.

"I'm sorry Graham, but Emma is –"

"We're here!" The door opened and Henry walked in smiling as he announced their arrival.

Both Graham and Ruby turned their heads to look at him almost run into one of the tables. His mother was bringing up the rear with a huge smile on her face.

"Look who finally decided to make an appearance. I was wondering if I had texted _brinner_ instead of _brunch_."

The both of them made their way towards Ruby and Graham. "Nah. Mom and I were having a heart to heart. Did you know she was dating a guy?"

Graham choked on his coffee at the news and Ruby's eyes went wide in surprise. Emma felt the heat start to rise on her face as she placed a hand on her son's shoulder, but she couldn't help the smile that drew on her lips. "So much for keeping it on the down-low."

At her friend's obvious happiness Ruby turns to Graham who is cleaning some of the mess he'd made with a napkin and asked him in a hush tone, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he mumbled back, his head still looking down at the mess he made on the bar.

Henry and Emma were oblivious to the exchange. And soon the kid was asking Ruby for a large hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and cinnamon as he turned and walked over to "their" booth. Forgetting everything about the moping detective sitting a place over, Ruby dived into the gossip.

She raised a perfectly arched eyebrow at Emma in amusement. "So does this mean you and the charming pirate are an item now?"

"Ruby. " Emma warned.

"What? It's a perfectly innocent and valid question. Besides the minor is already informed of your summer fling. So?"

Emma rolled her eyes at Ruby's words, but she couldn't help but smile again as she recounted the facts. "Killian texted me this morning. We're finally going on a date."

"Took him long enough. So what are you wearing? I recommend the tight red number, I can loan you my black "fuck me" strappy heels…"

The scratching of a throat made both of them turn to the side. Graham's face was beet red as he looked at women with what was supposed to be a smile, but in reality was nothing more than a grimace. Emma stood up straighter at the site of him. It was obvious she hadn't noticed his presence earlier.

"Hey, I didn't see you there."

"Yes. I realize that was the case, I was just heading out."

"No! Stay, I have to go feed my kid and probably give him a lesson in being more discreet."

"Food should be there in 5. I'll join you guys in a few."

"Thanks Rubs. See you around detective Humbert."

He nodded as Emma made her way to the other side of the diner. Ruby looked up at Graham, regret in her expressive eyes.

"Graham, I'm sorry I wanted to…"

"Don't worry Ruby. It's okay."

"I guess now you know that you don't have a chance and can move on."

"Who said anything about moving on? You said it yourself whatever she has with that guy is a summer fling… I'm a very patient man. Sooner or later he's going to leave and I'll be here waiting for her."

He dropped a few dollar bills on the counter and gave Ruby one last smile before he walked out the door.

Well so much for an easy way out of the hole she'd dig for herself.

"Idiot – idiot, idiot, idiot!" She said under her breath, but what she wasn't sure if she was swearing at him or herself.

* * *

 **Note:** _So this chapter was supposed to include Emma and Killian's date. But the second part is proving a bit difficult to write because I want it to be perfect... So I decided to publish the first part as a separate, transitional chapter if you will. I promise next Chapter will be all about Emma and Killian on a date, no miss understandings and even an M rating ;)  
_


End file.
